“I met this girl on Monday
Predicted I’d take her for a drink on Tuesday
We were holding séances by Wednesday
And on Thursday and Friday and Saturday, we chilled on Sunday”
Step forward Slebdom’s newest psychic - Mr Craig David. Not only is Craig psychic, he’s clairvoyant and clairaudient. Now that’s a Twitter bio.
After years of keeping his extrasensory powers under his hat Craig finally spilled the beans on Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place podcast. Fill us in Craig.
“I’m super empathic, super sensitive and super psychic, which I feel very liberated to say now,” he explained.
“I was a bit in the closet about being psychic. But I’m very clairvoyant and I can see things in the future.”
Craig told Fearne he is also “clairaudient” which means he can hear voices and sounds from beyond the physical world whether they be from the past or the future.
"My ears ring off like crazy and I know there’s a guide or some ancestor trying to come through – and tuning in,” Craig explained.
Now Craig, Sleb Safari is no doctor but is happy to report that it has watched A LOT of episodes of Casualty over the years… and that sounds like tinnitus. You should ask your GP for a referral to an audiologist.
Craig is the second celebrity of late to reveal supernatural prowess.
“I’ve accepted the fact that I see things and I hear things,” she told Kelly Clarkson on the latter’s TV show.
“I shut it down for a while because it's scary. The unknown is scary. But I recently was like, ‘No, this is a gift and something that I have the ability to do, so I’m going to lean into it'.”
And so she embarked upon her “first real paranormal investigation… like with equipment and everything”.
Equipment, Vanessa? Proton packs and a grey boiler suit?
Her favoured piece of equipment is a “spirit box” which “scans radio frequencies really quickly… something about the electricity that it creates allows spirits to speak through it”.
A ghost called Sam contacted Vanessa via the spirit box/walkie talkie and she told him her name plus that of her friend who was with her. This friend then asked Sam if he knew their names and he replied “Vanessa”. If that isn’t all the proof you need that Vanessa is a ghost whisperer then Sleb Safari doesn’t know what to make of you.
Vanessa isn’t alone. Courteney Cox and Paul O’Grady have both talked about living in haunted houses and Jack Osbourne was all over the telly last week reminiscing about paranormal activity in his childhood home.
What Sleb Safari wants now is for these ghost busting celebrities to band together, like some sort of G Team, and travel around haunted houses on a ghost busting bus for a reality TV show. Channel 5, surely this is right up your street?
Kym Marsh's sleep texting habit
MORE Craig David news courtesy of Kym Marsh who is taking part in Strictly Come Dancing.
As Hear’Say came to an end and Kym was feeling stressed she developed a texting in her sleep habit, to the point where she was messaging Craig David at 2am asking for help and confessing she loved him.
“We’d met Craig David along the way, I wouldn’t say we were the best of mates but we had phone numbers, all of us,” she told the BBC
“I woke up one morning and reached for my phone, I checked my phone and Craig David had messaged going ‘Oh are you alright?’ I was like ‘Yes fine, I don’t understand why you’re…’ and I scrolled back through my texts and I’d sent him a text at 2am saying ‘Please help me, I love you’
“I sent it to Craig David!
“It got worse from there, other people were like ‘Kym, could you just move your phone, stop messaging me at three o’clock in the morning!’ I was just constantly messaging random people.”
Being psychic, Craig probably set his phone to silent before falling sleep.
Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen has thoughts on Kim Kardashain's home decor choices
Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen is on a roll. No sooner had he predicted that new neighbour Simon Cowell was going to make all the wrong décor choices, than LLB was taking a pop at Kim Kardashian.
Kim prefers minimalism. Laurence can only stomach maximalism. Therefore he described her home as denoting “great social insecurity”.
“People who are happy with themselves, well they've got their knickers hanging from a chandelier because they know the chandelier needed something and hey those knickers can tell a story or two!'
“When it's a big slab of something - that's someone trying to control their life like they're driving a car.”
Confused? You’re not alone. Laurence continues: “Life is something that should be served - don't try and paddle it up the creek - enjoy the view and the experience. Make sure you get every single little drop in everything you've got.
“We should be loving what we own and owning what we love.”
Simon Cowell is feeling a lot better about his choices now.
