A mum with cerebral palsy who feared she might not become a mother due to her condition is now encouraging other people with disabilities to adopt after sharing her “positive” journey.
Ash Watts, 42, a disability training consultant from Durham, was warned that pregnancy could result in health risks, but says she dreamed of starting a family with her husband, Graham, 40, a computer programmer.
Worrying she might be rejected from adopting due to her disability, Ash sought advice from charity and adoption agency Adoption Matters, and the couple welcomed their son home in September 2021.
Their little boy, Bill, now four, has a rare chromosome condition called Janson de Vries Syndrome, and Ash says she is in a “strong position” to guide him through life as she understands what it is like with a disability.
She said: “When we first adopted Bill, he was two-and-a-half years old and we were told his condition was uncertain, that he would need to go into special education, and he probably wouldn’t be able to read and write.
“They didn’t even know if he would be able to speak, but Bill has defied the odds and exceeded everyone’s expectations. He will be starting mainstream education in September and he is starting to read three letter words and can write his name.
“It’s wonderful to watch and help him thrive, being Bill’s parents is a privilege.”
Ash said she had always wanted to be a mum, but due to her condition, doctors were concerned about her getting pregnant.
She said: “We knew we wanted to be parents and we explored the possibility of having IVF, but medical professionals were concerned about the effect it could have on me. I could be poorly afterwards or there might be complications.
“I worried that the health risks could make me unable to look after a child properly and I wanted to be a good mum.
“It was looking like it probably wasn’t the greatest idea and I said to Graham, ‘you know, there’s loads of children out there that need to be adopted and deserve a loving family just like everybody else’.”
Navigating adoption as an inter-abled couple, Ash and Graham sought help from Adoption Matters.
Going through training before meeting their little boy, Ash said she had to “jump through extra hoops” to prove she was a capable parent.
She said: “I had to liaise with my consultants, social workers and healthcare staff to prove that I would be able to care for my son.
“I had to prove to them in meetings and when I went to a panel to be approved, I had to answer questions around my disability and explain how I could provide care and why I was the best person to parent him.
“But my disability has not been an issue in the adoption or in my parenting, and we have had an incredibly positive adoption experience.”
In meetings leading up to the adoption, Ash explained that she would make adjustments to tasks she could not complete in the same way as an able-bodied person.
She added: “Bill can dress himself now but when he first came home, I would have to dress him on my knee.
“We just had to work out different ways of doing things than how an able-bodied person would do them.”
Since bringing their little boy home in September 2021, Ash said their house has been “full of joy”.
Despite misconceptions that parenting Bill would be “an extra challenge” as he also has a disability, Ash has used her own experiences to help him.
“I think I’m in a really strong position to guide him through any issues that might occur in his life,” Ash said.
“I understand his experiences a lot more than most and I have a lot of knowledge about disability that an able-bodied parent might not have.
“He is a really funny little boy, he makes everybody laugh and is really sociable. Bearing in mind, he didn’t say any words when he first came to us, now if he’s not talking, he’s singing.”
Bill will join a mainstream primary school in September, a milestone that medics did not think would be possible for him.
A new campaign from You Can Adopt, the overarching national group of regional and voluntary adoption agencies, launches today. The campaign highlights the different shapes and sizes families come in and the various ways adoptive parents can find support throughout the adoption journey, including sector support, therapeutic and financial help, and reiterates the importance of networks such as friends and families.
According to the campaign, over half of children waiting for permanent homes come from certain groups where it takes an average of eight months longer to be adopted. This includes children aged five or over, those with additional and/or complex needs, brother and sister groups, and those from black and mixed heritage backgrounds.
The new campaign aims to reach potential parents for children from certain groups that repeatedly wait longest to be adopted.
Ash said: “I think that a lot of people with disabilities or health conditions think they won’t be able to adopt but that’s not the case.
“I was naturally anxious when we started our adoption process because I’ve heard negative things around adoption and disability which is why I want to tell our story of how positive the experience can be.
“Not many people think they can do it or think you’ll be judged but they’re not judging you, they’re just making sure you get paired with the right child to fit in your family.
“Our social worker has been a huge support, and has gone above and beyond. Without Adoption Matters, we wouldn’t be parents.”
You Can Adopt has launched a new drive to find resilient parents for the children waiting the longest for permanent homes, and showcase the support available for them. For more information, visit: www.youcanadopt.co.uk
