NOT five minutes ago Sleb Safari was dabbing its eyes while writing about the demise of Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez.
“She, queen of the high pony. He, king of the home run. Together they were J-Rod”. And now here we are, handkerchief barely dry on the washing line, watching as the phoenix that is the Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck love affair rises from the ashes. She, queen of the high pony. He, king of Boston. Together they were, and are, Bennifer.
It’s almost 20 years since Jen and Ben fell in love, made the critically ashamed Gigli and lolled on a yacht for the Jenny From The Block video. He proposed with a pink diamond solitaire, she said yes and they planned a wedding, only to postpone it four days before the ceremony due to “excessive media attention”.
At the time they said: “When we found ourselves seriously contemplating hiring three separate decoy brides at three different locations, we realized that something was awry”. Well, quite. Anyone worth their weight in whatever celebrity nuptial crisis management types are paid knows that you hire four decoy brides.
Four months later Jen and Ben broke up. Fast forward to April 2021 and just as Jennifer’s social media postings portended A-Rod being dropped from Team J. Lo, there were signs that Ben was on the back burner, simmering.
Remember how InStyle magazine had a Jennifer Lopez: In Her Own Words special with contributions from everyone except A-Rod? That “everyone” included Ben Affleck.
He talked about her work ethic and talent and then tossed this in: “Where are you keeping the fountain of youth? Why do you look the same as you did in 2003 and it kind of looks like I'm in my 40s… at best?”
After the year we’ve all had it seems everyone is happy to be rolled down memory lane and dipped in nostalgia. Bennifer was a moment in time, in pop culture, in fashion – the mint green one shoulder Oscars dress, the flat caps, the fur collar hoodies… and whatever Ben was wearing.
Sleb Safari is as curious as you about Bennifer: Part Deux. Alex Rodriguez is likely curious too. One day after he and J.Lo issued a break up statement detailing how they had come to the realisation they were “better as friends” A-Rod was on Instagram stories showing us a photographic shrine to his ex with Coldplay’s Fix You as mood music.
A further sign he’s taking it well came last week when he posted a picture of himself in London, wearing sunglasses and leaning chummily against a postbox.
Alex, take heart, we’re a fickle audience and as quickly as we fell in love with the idea of Bennifer: Reborn, we’ll fall out of love. Especially if they announce a sequel to Gigli.
Read more: Sleb Safari - J.Lo and A-Rod - A retrospective
Kourtney Kardashian better not be allergic to flowers
Sleb Safari does enjoy it when celebrities gift flowers because it’s never a bouquet, always a wildflower meadow.
The latest giver of a gargantuan floral display is Travis Barker, musician, wearer of body art and lover of Kourtney Kardashian.
Travis gifted not one, not two but three colossal bouquets to his beloved and they are glorious. Their size also gives you a clue to the dimensions of Kourtney’s home. Reader, it’s big.
James Corden has good news for Gavin & Stacey fans
The Gavin & Stacey Christmas special was one of the finest Christmas TV specials there’s been in recent years and Sleb Safari is delighted to report that James Corden is mulling over a return to Barry Island.
He told Zoe Ball on BBC Radio 2 that although there aren’t immediate plans “that special ends on such a… it’s so open-ended that I think it would be a shame to leave it there”.
“That’s certainly my feeling, and I think Ruth feels the same. It doesn’t feel like the end of a book, it feels like the end of a chapter, so I do feel like if we ever did another one that would be the end of it,” he added.
James said he and Ruth had written the Christmas special “without telling anyone” and before going to the BBC and that he anticipated they would do the same again.
“And so my hunch is no-one will ever know if it’s coming until we’ve got it, but we haven’t had a single conversation about it.”
Get writing you two.
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Many have said that moi is a pillar of the performing community. They're right, of course, and to prove it I regularly pose with pillars, as seen here. pic.twitter.com/4OKW2qkllC
— Miss Piggy (@MissPiggy) May 12, 2021
