Life

Sleb Safari: J.Lo and A-Rod - A retrospective

Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez have broken up. Picture from Jennifer Lopez on Instagram
Maeve Connolly

AND so it is with a heavy heart that we bid farewell to celebrity couple Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez who have parted ways after four years together. She, queen of the high pony. He, king of the home run. Together they were J-Rod, guardians of a portmanteau the likes of which we’ll never see again.

The parting of the power couple didn’t come as a huge surprise since the writing had been on the wall for several weeks. Here’s how it all went down.

Last month the couple denied they’d ended their engagement after claims he had been messaging a reality TV personality. The pair said “all the reports are inaccurate” and that they were instead “working through some things”. In hindsight that would seem to mean their lawyers were working through the business side of things as J.Lo and A-Rod invested in a lot of companies together and had even tried to buy the New York Mets baseball team.

But when she stopped sharing pictures of them together on her social media feeds it was clear his goose was cooked. He posted once about her in that time but it was for a paid promotion.

Then InStyle magazine had a Jennifer Lopez: In Her Own Words special with contributions from the world and his mother including an ex-husband and a former fiancé. But not a peep from her then fiancé. The drama!

Finally, on April 14 in the year of our Lord 2021 they confirmed that J-Rod was no more.

"We have realized we are better as friends and look forward to remaining so. We will continue to work together and support each other on our shared businesses and projects. We wish the best for each other and one another's children. Out of respect for them, the only other comment we have is to say is thank you to everyone who has sent kind words and support.”

A respectful, joint statement from adults which Sleb Safari assumed would be the end of it. Not so. Fast forward all of half a day and A-Rod is blasting Coldplay through the house and worshipping at his J.Lo shrine.

It was all captured on Instagram Stories. By him. As Coldplay’s Fix You played, the camera panned across a display of photographs featuring his ex and ended on a framed picture of a heart drawn in the sand with Jennifer and Alex written in it.

“Tears stream

Down your face

When you lose something

You cannot replace

Tears stream down your face and I

Tears stream down your face

I promise you, I will learn from my mistakes”

Run Jennifer, run for the hills.

 

Emilio Estevez and his cringe moment

SPARE a thought for Emilio Estevez who has been reminiscing about an embarrassing incident in his long and illustrious career.

He and brother Charlie Sheen made the film Rated X and it premiered with much fanfare at the Sundance Film Festival in 2000. It was all downhill from there, as he told Vanity Fair.

“I was at the premiere of Rated X at Sundance and I stood in the back of the theatre after introducing the film.

“I held the door open for people who were walking out. They didn’t recognize me until they got right next to me. They were certainly less embarrassed than I was for holding the door open for them to leave.”

Awkward.

 

Sam Neill plays tour guide

SAM Neill posted this photo of himself and Jeff Goldblum in Sydney but there has been no follow up (and Sleb Safari should know as it has been monitoring Sam’s Instagram closely, too closely some might say) and that’s just not cricket. We need to know what happened next. Sleb Safari sincerely hopes Jeff is hanging out at Sam’s farm, spending time with Angelica the pig and Kate Winslet and her seven chicks.

 

Social Media Smut

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