‘My heart went out to Kate, I know what she has gone through’ - Anne Hailes

This week 24 years ago I had a mastectomy. It came as a dreadful shock.

I was leaving the screening service in Linenhall Street, stopped to speak to a gentleman I knew who was waiting for his wife and suddenly I was being ushered back in behind the screens where I underwent a more in-depth investigation.

There was something wrong. I was asked if there was anything I needed to do within the next week - just to go to London to join Gloria in her birthday celebration, but if they wanted me I would stay nearby to do what I was told.

The arrangement was to go to the City Hospital a couple of days later and see the specialist who would tell me what was going on.

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I suppose I was in a sort of daze, but it never occurred to me to keep this private. I got into the car in Linenhall Street and told my husband that there was something that had to be dealt with. From a regular check-up, I faced surgery, hopefully a lumpectomy, the children had to be told, and my parents, my brothers, my friends.

All this came back to me as I read about the Princess of Wales. My heart went out to Kate: I know what she has gone through and, if it was anything like my experience, she certainly needed time to come to terms with her diagnosis and time to speak to family.

IMMEDIATE ACTION

For me, it was surgery within 10 days and Jean the lovely breast cancer nurse telling me she would come to my bedside and we could have a look at the empty space together, but I beat her to it. In the recovery room, I saw the neat bandage - but what shocked me was the sight of my two tummies. I knew I was quite bonny round the waist, but not to that extent. It was something for Jean and her patient to laugh about.

Then there was waiting to hear the surgeon’s footsteps coming up the corridor, in through the door and the news he had taken away the diseased part: it had been examined, only to find that the cancer had leaked out beyond the ‘halo’ and I’d have to have a total mastectomy.

The following weeks were devoted to chemotherapy, radiotherapy, the sickness, the fear, loosing my hair, looking in a dark painting rather than braving a mirror and using a baby’s toothbrush because I couldn’t open my mouth wide thanks to the ulcers round my lips.

FACING FACTS

I was exhausted and frightened. Life almost stopped, except for writing articles for this newspaper. I wrote in depth about my Millennium experience and the two-page spread was circulated around cancer units throughout Northern Ireland.

It was a positive outcome, and still to this day I am asked to talk to women who have had the diagnosis - and, interestingly, their husbands, who are equally fearful.

And so I am sickened by the horrible reaction some of the media have been guilty of as Kate battles with the aftermath of the shock. The stupidity of challenging that photo - so what if it was doctored?

I’m sorry she felt like apologising for it, but I’m glad she made a public statement. It won’t silence the vindictive press, but it will reassure many others who have more sense and empathy.

When I came home from Linenhall Street that day in 2000, I just told everyone that something was wrong and we were going to get to the bottom of it and fix it. My children were devastated and immediately caring. I always find it’s better to share immediately: if you don’t, it gets harder and harder for everyone concerned - especially yourself.

Sadly, like in all cancers, treatment doesn’t work out for everyone. Thankfully, so far it has for me, but just as Jean warned me, every time I have an ache or pain, I wonder if it’s cancer come back.

I made a request to God to allow me to live long enough so my newborn grandson would remember me. Jonathan is now 25, Daniel is 19 and Charlie is 15 and I’m thankful to God for answering my prayer.

Kate is young, with a delightful young family, and all of them face an unsettling time until she hopefully gets the all-clear. She has my prayers.

FUND FOR YOUTH

A Northern Ireland grant round is now open for the Energy Saving Trust Foundation’s for Youth Climate Action Fund In collaboration with Ulster Wildlife.

The Foundation is seeking applications from charities and organisations facilitating youth-led projects supporting young people to take action on the climate emergency.

The deadline is April 12, more information at: Environment & Sustainability – EANI Funding.