THE twin sister of a Co Tyrone teenager who died in a school bus crash 13 years ago has described how she still feels an "overwhelming sense of loneliness".
Natasha Murray was speaking for the first time about the loss of her 16-year-old sister Nicola as she revealed she has raised £10,000 for charity in her memory.
"Thirteen years later, I still feel it, I'll be surrounded by people and there will be a massive void in the room," she said.
Nicola, a pupil at St Ciaran's High School, Ballygawley, died after their bus was struck by a lorry on the Ballygawley Road at Cabragh in February 2008.
In an interview with the BBC, Natasha described how she shared everything with her twin and has had to live with not having her with her any more.
"We started school together, we generally got the bus every day. And it was this particular morning I remember so clearly that morning, it was freezing," she said.
"We got into the bus and there was a seat to the left.
"It had a heater and I got into it and Nicola said 'Aw I was going to sit in there' and I remember saying to her, 'You can sit if you want, that's ok'. She said 'No, no, it's fine, I'll sit behind you'.
"She sat directly in behind me. Mummy had just texted her wondering did we both have dinner money. Nicola said back to her 'yes' and then 'x'. Even having that message that morning for Mummy - that was the last message Nicola ever sent her.
"Then all of a sudden, everything came to a standstill. It was just like slow motion. The seat that I was sitting in was actually now crushed up against the seat in front.
"I remember thinking, I have to get up, I have to do something. People were starting to get off the bus and they had opened the door.
"I hadn't spoke to Nicola from I got up from my seat. I hadn't looked behind me and I don't know if it was intuition or what it was, but I knew that things weren't good.
"She never spoke to me. So I remember going down and I remember she was breathing. I sat down beside her and I held her hand. I don't know what it was, but I knew that she would never speak to me again.
"Then people started to arrive, I borrowed a phone off somebody, I rang mummy - it was the phone call that changed her life forever."
Nicola was taken to hospital but died a few hours later.
Natasha said 13 years on, she still feels the pain.
"It's this overwhelming sense of loneliness - with great love comes great loss," she said.
"I am so grateful that I carry her with me every single day because I know if that morning had have been different and had that been me that was killed, if I was looking down on Nicola, I certainly wouldn't want her to be living a life that she was sad."
Natasha, along with family members, recently embarked on a 5k-a-day running challenge in memory of Nicola and raised almost £10,000,
"For the last day of the runs we thought it would be fitting to run past where the accident happened - I'd never even walked past there before. I knew for that day it was important," she said.
"Had you told me 12 years ago that I would be in a position to be able to do that, I wouldn't have believed you.
"I never want to look at Nicola and think of a negative. I want her life to be remembered in such a good, fulfilling way."
