One of Jim McCauley’s greatest regrets is that his wife, Cathy did not live to see her son Paul’s killer receive the justice of a life sentence for his murder.
Cathy died in August 2016 after a long illness, just months after Paul’s death. For the previous nine years, with her husband, Jim and family and friends, she maintained a daily vigil at Paul’s bedside.
The bulk of the care for Paul fell to Cathy, a retired nurse, and her husband. However, as Piper John McClements pleaded guilty to his son’s murder in September, Mr McCauley sat in the courtroom without his life-long partner.
“Cathy did not see the outcome. It was one of the things that hurt. Our final years together, we did not get a chance to enjoy them. We worked opposite each other in being with Paul.
“It was a big blow, losing Cathy before we could spend our final years together,” Mr McCauley said.
The Derry man, a retired teacher, said his son Paul was always special, not just because he was their eldest son.
“Paul was special because our first child was still born. We were unsure about the next birth; we didn’t even have names. Paul was born on the 25th January, the Feast of the Conversion of St Paul and that is why we called him Paul. Paul was special; he was the eldest in the family of four.”
The McCauley family have vivid memories of the night Paul was attacked. In the emotional storm that followed, the family waited at hospital, first in Derry and then in Belfast.
“Paul had the initial head surgery and they removed part of his skull to allow the brain to swell. The three nurses came for us and I mouthed ‘dead’ to them. Paul was in theatre and I brought Cathy round so she wouldn’t see the response and the nurse shook her head and said no.”
Within days, the full horror of Paul’s future life became clear.
“In Musgrave Park when we saw Paul being hoisted out of his bed into a wheelchair for the first time, it confirmed his immobility and vulnerability. We were both there and it was one of the times when we just put our arms around each other and cried,” Mr McCauley said.
In taking his son away from him, Mr McCauley said McClements, Gillen and the other attackers wreaked so much damage on his family.
“My regrets are losing Paul and maybe more contact with his daughter. We had good contact but had Paul been here, to bring her to the house more often, we, certainly Cathy, would have enjoyed seeing her.
“I think of the loss and the contrast in Paul’s life and the contrast to those who attacked him – Paul’s commitment to his career in the civil service, his commitment to saving life as a former member of Foyle Search and Rescue, his commitment to bettering himself - he was doing an Open University science degree – and his commitment to his friends in the civil service. They regularly visited him in hospital and some come from Belfast and still visit his grave.”
Mr McCauley visits Paul and Cathy’s grave several times a week and prays to his son and his wife.
“Religion is an important aspect. That is something I appreciated that Bishop Good (Church of Ireland) and Rev David Latimer (Presbyterian) prayed with us for Paul and they were at Paul’s funeral.
“It emphasises the importance of prayer and that there is life beyond death. It focuses you on the spiritual; you have to be confident that we will be re-united,” he said.
As his son’s killer pleaded guilty in court, Mr McCauley said it felt it was an anti-climax.
“One of the hurts of the whole thing is that no-one has ever apologised. The other concern is that the Independent Monitoring Commission laid the blame for the attack at the feet of the UDA and they have never offered any explanation as to why, or what strategy was in place.”
Content that he has seen some justice for his son, Mr McCauley is hopeful that a full explanation will someday come out.
“I have great respect for the police. From the overview and realising the difficulty of the investigation and the lack of cooperation not only from those who were part of the attack but from those who were knowledgeable about the attack immediately afterwards and could have contributed significantly to identifying those responsible and also to easing the family’s trauma,” he said.
As he looks into the future, Mr McCauley lives with the pain of Paul’s death and the fact that Cathy was taken from him before justice for Paul was achieved.
“You spend a lifetime with somebody when you meet them in your teens. When you deeply love somebody, appreciate their strengths and work as a team raising a family, the loss of half your youth is a big blow.”
