Life

Leona O'Neill: It's important we teach kids empathy and kindness

Empathy and kindness are in short supply these days, especially in an age dominated by the rise of trolling and abuse on social media platforms. It's up to parents to show their children that it's nice to be nice, writes Leona O'Neill...

Kids' lives are dominated by social media in the modern age
Kids' lives are dominated by social media in the modern age Kids' lives are dominated by social media in the modern age

THERE are a lot of things that we, as parents and guardians, can teach our kids. Chief among those is empathy and kindness. There seems to be far too little of it in the world at the moment.

We seem to be living in an era where peddling hate and finding humour in the suffering of others is paramount, locally and globally.

Two weeks ago, the world waited to hear if the five people – including a teenage boy – who went on a trip to visit the wreck of the Titanic were alive. Their families waited in agony at the surface as searches carried on for days.

Meanwhile, social media was awash with memes and jokes and hot takes on what might have happened to those human beings thousands of feet under the ocean. There was a distinct lack of empathy on show because these individuals were wealthy and therefore deemed unworthy of our pity.

A young refugee is rescued following a 'small boat' incident in the English Channel. Picture by Gareth Fuller/PA Wire.
A young refugee is rescued following a 'small boat' incident in the English Channel. Picture by Gareth Fuller/PA Wire. A young refugee is rescued following a 'small boat' incident in the English Channel. Picture by Gareth Fuller/PA Wire.

By the same token, the boat-loads of human beings – young and old – who are perishing in our seas don't even register in most people's thoughts these days. We have somehow normalised the hundreds of deaths of those seeking safety from peril who find themselves at the mercy of cruel people-smugglers and even crueller seas.

Just this week, two suspect explosive devices were left at the homes of those involved in our political system. The devices, which were wrapped in Pride flags, were left at the home of a current politician and a former one in Portrush. One Belfast politician who condemned the attacks was swamped by horrific homophobic and transphobic abuse on social media and brutal and cruel taunts with the aim to dehumanise members of our LGBT+ community.

We are entering Northern Ireland Summer, where our divisions are often laid bare. Social media will become a brawling ground between those who agree and disagree with what is going on on any given day.

Social media is a cesspit, and it is where most of this vitriol is peddled. But what happens on social media often spills out onto real life. Hate is spread there by trolls and ghouls, but often acted on by real people. And our young people live a lot of their lives on social media. Our teenagers practically exist on there and our younger children will be taking their first steps into that world soon enough.

Kids spend a worrying amount of time on social media
Kids spend a worrying amount of time on social media Kids spend a worrying amount of time on social media

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It's up to us, by leading by example, to ensure they are spreading love and light, not hate. None of us know what others are feeling. But all of us are human beings, and therefore can show others compassion and kindness. That, at least, is in our gift. Too often these days, being resentful, bitter and hateful is our default setting

The world is a hard place these days. Switch on the news any day of the week and you'll find humans hurting other humans in their words and in their actions. Terror attacks, shootings and bombings are so commonplace worldwide, as well as human beings drowning in our seas, that we have become almost desensitised to their horrors.

We need to get away from the rising trend of tearing people apart for entertainment. We need to realise that we are all fragile human beings, some of us stronger than others, who need positive human contact, not relentless hostility.

Ensure you’re always celebrating kindness and courage as a family
Ensure you’re always celebrating kindness and courage as a family Ensure you’re always celebrating kindness and courage as a family

There are good people in the world. And we are them.

What we need now, more than ever is to get back to our positive default setting: focus on the good things and the good people. That and actually be the good people.

Our society has changed dramatically in recent years. We can't do much about the world's ills, but we can make a difference in our homes, in our communities, in our cities.

Be kind to one another. Throw compliments and encouragement, instead of criticism. Reach out a hand to someone. Don't be nasty on social media. Smile at people in the street. Don't be a troll. Don't get involved in pointless and damaging social media pile-ons. Give more hugs. Help where you can. Teach your children to be good and kind and considerate people. A small pebble of kindness can send out a ripple in the ocean.

As Martin Luther King Jr said: "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."