You know we’re in the descent into Christmas madness when the television starts playing sickly sweet advertisements from the likes of John Lewis, where a little boy grows an alternative Christmas tree in the shape of a gigantic Venus fly-trap which vomits presents.

I've just printed out a German homework for my 16-year-old son.

"This man has done more to divide this country than anybody else. He's looked after his own pocket; I still refer to him as dodgy Dave."

THESE three photographs prove that good genetics can – if you're unlucky like me – jump a generation.

THAT up to a dozen men felt emboldened to attend the Gary Haggarty case in the Crown Court whilst wearing face masks proves how distant our society remains from normalcy.

CALL me superstitious but I worry when I hear Jeffrey Donaldson confidently announce there won't be a united Ireland in his lifetime.