Opinion

Lynette Fay: Ending period shame and the stigma around menstruation

Why is there shame around the fact that women bleed once a month? All women have periods, yet still this bodily function which is necessary and vital to the future of the human race is still not normalised...

Lynette Fay

Lynette Fay

Lynette is an award winning presenter and producer, working in television and radio. Hailing from Dungannon, Co Tyrone, she is a weekly columnist with The Irish News.

Why is there shame around the fact that women bleed once a month?
Why is there shame around the fact that women bleed once a month? Why is there shame around the fact that women bleed once a month?

I talk to people for a living. I ask questions, and give a platform to the stories and experiences of others. Sometimes I share the odd anecdote about me, my life, but I don’t feel the need to turn a conversation around so that I become the subject. I’m not that interesting. My job is to facilitate conversations.

Last week, one of my guests on the radio show turned the tables on me, and asked me questions about the subject matter we were talking about. She pushed me right out of my comfort zone, but I felt that I had to reply to her honestly.

I was talking to Kitty Maguire who is a menstruality mentor. She encourages women to understand and tune in to their menstrual cycles and to eradicate the shame associated with menstruation. Life, she says is cyclical, not linear.

Yesterday was International Menstrual Health Awareness Day, and for the first time ever, groups of women came together throughout the island of Ireland to host a festival aimed at eradicating menstrual shame.

Why is there shame around the fact that women bleed once a month?

All women have periods, yet still this bodily function which is necessary and vital to the future of the human race is still not normalised. Whatever you do, don’t mention the blood...

We grew up watching TV ads for sanitary products where blue water was poured on the sanitary pads. Heaven forbid that real life was reciprocated in any way for fear of offending... who exactly? I have been in company where a man, referencing TV ads for sanitary products has said openly that "that filth shouldn’t be on the telly".

I would say that most women have had ‘accidents’ which have left our clothes badly stained. I have tried to hide my stained clothes, bed clothes and cringed at the thought of anyone seeing the stains. The shame of it. I have always had access to sanitary products. Imagine what it must be like for the women who don’t.

I have personally struggled with heavy and painful periods for all of my adult life, except ironically, when I was pregnant. Apart from those blissful nine months, for a few days every month, I turn to painkillers and the hot water bottle becomes my best friend.

Then there’s the PMT. There are days when I could cry for no reason, when I want to lock myself away and not see or talk to anyone – which is impossible. Most women feel ‘normal’ or like themselves for about 10 days a month. The rest is a physical and emotional rollercoaster, and the ride is bespoke for each woman.

Tuning into the ups and downs of the cycle, or the seasons as they can be referred to, can be life changing in terms of understanding hormone imbalance during the monthly cycle.

Thirty seconds into our conversation about menstrual health, I found myself, live on radio, talking freely about my menstrual cycle and how I was feeling. When Kitty asked me questions about my cycle, I felt that I had to answer. The fact that we were having that conversation at all was pushing boundaries and challenging ‘the norm’.

It was probably an uncomfortable conversation for some, riveting for others because it’s something that is NEVER spoken about so openly. Many are reading this column thinking that I have lost my mind.

Why don’t we more freely about this stuff?

Social media played a big role in destigmatising periods. Many accounts offer more information on how the monthly cycle affects a woman’s body. It is complex, scientific and fascinating.

The campaign for free period products was enhanced by online campaigns and information. Young girls in schools right across the north got involved in this campaign and were passionate about helping others in schools and beyond.

I have certainly noticed more free sanitary products in public bathrooms recently, a clear indication that the conversation started by these campaigns is having impact.

A community exists which talks in terms of 'period power', 'menstrual magic' and 'red queens'. ‘Woo woo’ for some... but, just maybe, replacing negative language around periods with empowering words and phrases could be key to de-stigmatisation.