FINALLY, after much confusion and doubt around who is responsible for the NI Protocol, loyalist thugs have seemingly discovered the answer - with the culprit being a bit of a surprise.
It wasn't the pan-nationalist conspiracy many suspected, nor was it an unholy partnership between Dublin and Brussels working to undermine the Union. We can now even rule out the never-spoken about but always suspect influence of Rome in NI affairs, for the real villain has been exposed.
Yes, the curtain has been pulled back and the evil wizard of doom is... Translink.
Masquerading as a transport company, Translink, with their bendy buses and regular services, are but a front for a conspiracy to break up the United Kingdom.
It all becomes clear when you realise their name is in fact an acronym for the 'Totalitarian Republican Axis Negotiating Southern Lickspittles Intentionally Negating Kingdom'. Surely you can see it now, can't you?
I'll stop there. With so many ridiculous conspiracy theories floating about, some idiot is liable to believe this one.
Indeed, it would be funny but for the fact two bus drivers were hijacked and terrorised. Their only crime was doing an honest day's work, admittedly a concept lost on the contemptible wasters who carried out the attacks.
No doubt those mindless morons received slaps on the back from their mates; I hope those were quickly followed by slaps on the back of their heads from parents and grandparents denied a bus service because of their vandalism.
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WATCHING Sinn Féin's recent party political broadcast ahead of their first Ard Fheis since Covid, I thought, for a second, that a united Ireland had happened and nobody had told me.
Of the 11 individuals who appeared, seven were from the Republic with only four from the north. While I understand the party wishes to project itself as an all-Ireland entity, I wonder how this will play out in the minds of nationalist Nordies who may perceive this imbalance as a snub.
Some will no doubt argue I'm being parochial; then again, all politics is parochial, especially in Ireland. Others will believe such is the surge in support for Sinn Féin, they could run a donkey in many constituencies and get it elected.
This may be true, but I still think if the election is in the north, we would like the donkey to have originated here.
Mary Lou's speech at the conference was both confident and assured and she looked like a leader in waiting, in the Republic at least. With their eyes obviously focused on taking the Dáil, Sinn Féin play a dangerous game in presuming a similar victory is a foregone conclusion here. Everyone knows hell hath no fury like a voter taken for granted.
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THE appointment of Conservative peer Jonathan Caine as parliamentary under secretary of state at the Northern Ireland Office proves the influence of Spads in NI politics has not waned.
Although the Conservative Party's longest-serving adviser on NI, Caine has never held elected office and is reportedly not overly-sympathetic to the nationalist cause.
Former Prime Minister David Cameron described him as "an authority in his field and a tireless behind-the-scenes presence. He was - and remains - passionate about securing peace... in Northern Ireland and maintaining our United Kingdom".
A longstanding friend of David Trimble, Caine will no doubt have an unbiased view of the NI Protocol and how it can be made to work.
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SAY what you want about here, but when it comes to political intrigue and sleaze, we punch well above our weight. Be it Red Sky, RHI, the shadowy funding of the Brexit campaign via the DUP or the recent Owen Paterson débâcle, NI features large.
Having attempted to brazen out Paterson's indiscretion, Boris Johnson was forced into a humiliating about-face which saw Paterson resign his seat and bumbling Boris run from facing questions in Parliament.
Instead, Boris headed to what he thought would be the safe territory of a hospital visit. Photos of him wandering around the corridors not wearing a mask only added to his negative press.
While some argued sleaze had returned to Westminster, I don't believe it ever left. The cosy connection between big business and the Tories is now being laid bare in the perennial problem of peerages for payment.
The asking price this time round has risen to £3 million. Why anyone would pay such an amount to sit among such reprobates is beyond me, then again, they do say birds of a feather...
