“WHAT is it women want?” asked Freud. Or was it Jung? Whichever it was never worked out satisfactory answer. Nor has any man since.
Women are complex creatures – contrary, compliant, selfless, egotistical, self-deprecating and vain.
In sum, divinely inconsistent, changeable as the weather and a walking contradiction in terms.
In the course of history men have coped with our infinite volatility with either blows or blandishments, but in this age of enlightenment, equality and political correctness-gone-mad, it’s become complicated to the point of idiocy.
An English Midlands police force is threatening to prosecute men who wolf-whistle at women, make unsolicited approaches to them or send unwanted text messages, because “these actions are absolutely unacceptable and can be extremely distressing.”
So, ‘objectifying’ women is the new hate crime is it? What arrant nonsense. Men and women have been objectifying each other since time immemorial.
My generation grew up in a simpler, more innocent era. Old school photographs reveal us girls as lumpen, plain, with bad hair, acne and few cosmetic aids but Clearasil to cure any of it.
We’d descend from the school bus to a chorus of wolf-whistles from college boys and shouts of “Hi! Liquorice legs!” (a reference to our black stockings.)
We’d respond with an air of lofty disdain, but secretly we were thrilled skinny. Saturday afternoons were spent meeting ‘accidentally’ at Phillips record booth, joshing and jostling with a bit of surreptitious hand holding by the bold. ‘Objectification’ then was known as a ‘crush’.
Today’s teen girls are, for the most part, gazelle-like creatures with fake-tanned legs and tumbling blonde-streaked tresses which they constantly toss about like thoroughbred ponies.
Though surface-sophisticated, they ought to think carefully before they accuse any male of objectification.
Now female self-obsession seems the norm, manifest in the ultimate vanity of the ‘glamour selfie’ in an over-made-up pouting pose, launched into the ether with unforeseen consequences.
You can’t cry wolf if you’re on screen in ‘come hither’ mode, prey to any pervert roaming an unregulated internet.
As Auntie Mollie used to observe darkly when she saw me sally forth in a low neckline and a high hemline: “Don’t put all your goods in the shop window.”
Feminists will argue that we women should do, behave and dress as we please without the approbation or criticism of men.
But look at the climate of the society we live in, where advertising, film, pop music and fashion are highly sexualised and we’re all encouraged to gild our own lily no matter how unprepossessing our raw material.
Our popular female role-models are creatures of artifice whose influence is making our teenage girls feel inadequate unless they have a bosom or a backside of cartoon proportions and lips like pillows.
Millions are made by the cosmetics industry on products guaranteed to hold age at bay. Who’s it all for? To enhance our own self-esteem?
That slick phrase, “because I’m worth it,” doesn’t wash. The enhancement of eyes, lips and the emphasis of curves of the female body are unmistakable ‘come-on’ signals to the opposite sex and, from the time the first cave woman dabbed soot on her eyelids, women have known it.
Why can’t we accept expressions of admiration and appreciation with good grace? Equality has brought us the modern phenomenon of women ogling men.
It’s no longer considered politically incorrect for females to ‘phwoar’ over a man’s physique (see Tom Hiddleston, though he’s not my type.)
And what’s a hen party without a male strip-o-gram? As for unwelcomed attention from a man, it’s only harassment if you don’t fancy him back.
Do the decent thing, tell him to his face his behaviour is unacceptable and walk away.
I suspect we women sometimes want to have our cake and eat it. For those of tender sensibilities offended by wolf-whistles, sexist remarks and smitten no-hopers I have reassurance.
It’s a short-lived phase. Like all women beyond a certain age, you’ll become invisible to men – and you won’t half miss them.
Nothing changes in the battle of the sexes. Only the tactics have become more subtle and the weapons more sophisticated.
