FIRST MINISTER: Liam Neeson
The big man from Ballymena's 'very particular set of skills' and unmatched star power make him the obvious choice to lead the north back to stability. Plus, he's played Michael Collins on-screen and almost played Ian Paisley once.
DEPUTY FIRST MINISTER: Pamela Ballantine
This beloved UTV veteran is always up for a new challenge and has almost definitely interviewed Liam Neeson on at least one occasion. Years of live broadcasting experience also mean she never cracks under pressure.
JUSTICE MINISTER: James Nesbitt
After starring in every single gritty TV crime drama made during the past five years, it's time for 'our Jimmy' to apply his abundance of fictional law enforcement skills to Stormont.
MINISTER(S) FOR COMMUNITIES: The Derry Girls
Because everyone loves them, no matter where they keep their toaster. Lisa McGee to be retained as speech writer.
MINISTER FOR AGRICULTURE: Hugo Duncan
The 'wee man from Strabane' is already fluent in 'Farmer', plus for city folks it will keep him off the air for a while.
FINANCE MINISTER: Stephen Nolan
The north's best-paid broadcaster knows a thing or two about managing massive amounts of moolah. Plus, it will keep him off the air for a while.
EDUCATION MINISTER: Professor Brian Cox
Not NI-born but was in D:Ream with Derry's Peter Cunnah and somehow had enough brain cells left in the post-rave era to complete a Phd in high-energy particle physics.
HEALTH MINISTER: Jamie Dornan
The Co Down-born star's father was one of our top doctors for many years, while the Fifty Shades of Grey movie trilogy is a useful resource for the study of human anatomy and reproduction.
MINISTER FOR INFRASTRUCTURE : Roy Walker
With his 'say what you see' approach to life, Catchphrase legend Roy should be well equipped for assessing the north's dodgy road surfaces, laughable cycle lane provisions and expensive and inefficient public transport. Invaluable insight to be provided by his special advisor, Mr Chips.
