Health

Loose Women’s Judi Love: A sense of humour is essential for parents

Judi Love is backing a new campaign to help families have conversations about responsible gameplay (Alamy/PA)
Judi Love is backing a new campaign to help families have conversations about responsible gameplay (Alamy/PA)

When it comes to being a role model for her children, Judi Love is clear on the message she hopes to instil.

“For them to be true to their self, be true to who they are. That’s the main thing,” says the comedy star and TV personality, 43, who is a single mum to her 18-year-old daughter and 13-year-old son.

“I think from there, that would encourage what your purpose is, what kind of work you want to do, the relationships you have, how you define yourself – it’s just being true to yourself.

“And treat others how you hope to be treated. Young people are always on a journey and will make mistakes – it’s how you get through them [that matters].”

The born-and-bred Londoner – known for her stand-up shows and regular appearances on TV series Loose Women, The Last Leg and Celebrity Gogglebox – says her kids have taught her a lot, too.

“They definitely teach me resilience, and to live in the moment – oh, I love that about them,” reveals Love, who won Documentary of the Year at the 2023 Visionary Arts Awards in March (for Channel 4’s Black, Female And Invisible).

“And my children, if I haven’t got a wig on or a weave on, no eyelashes and I’m wearing in-house clothes and no bra, they love me the same way, and that’s the most beautiful thing. They just see me as mummy first, before Judi Love, and it’s so grounding.

“And they’re expensive,” she adds with a laugh. “That’s what they’ve taught me!”

Love says keeping communication channels open with her children is key for her as a parent – particularly where the online world is concerned.

She has just teamed up with Ukie (the trade body for the UK video games industry) on their new ‘ParentPowerUps’ campaign – offering a downloadable ‘PowerUpPact’ guide to help families navigate concerns such as in-game interactions, spending and time limits.

A survey of 1,000 parents with children aged 4-18 commissioned for the launch found 83% would like to know more about parental controls and how to implement them, and 66% already talk to their kids about the amount of time they spend playing video games.

“It’s still encouraging children to play video games, but in a safe way. We don’t want to take away the enjoyment,” says Love. She likes that it focuses on having a two-way conversation as a family – making it feel like “an agreement” and “empowering” children to set healthy boundaries.

“And making them feel included, understanding taking responsibility for their actions and safeguarding them, because that’s all you want to do,” Love adds.

She’s mindful when it comes to social media, too, choosing to rarely post photos of her children and keep their names out of the spotlight – acknowledging this is what felt right for her, even though many celebrities approach things differently.

“I think it’s each to their own. For me personally, I decided to be in the public eye, my children didn’t decide to be that,” she explains, adding they can choose for themselves how much they want to be in the public eye when they’re “at an age to do that”.

What about her own relationship with social media?

“As time’s gone on, I use it differently. I know for me it’s important to take breaks from social media – you don’t have to post every day. And what’s really come in useful for me is I restrict how many other pages I see and follow, and I really changed the narrative of the algorithms that come up on my page,” she explains. “It’s more fun stuff – kittens, pets, good holidays, lovey-dovey stuff. I’ve cut down a lot on anything negative, the news, because we have to protect our mental health.

“I know I can tap in and go and read a newspaper or watch the news and I’ll know what’s going on. But the gossip pages and all those kinds of things, I really restrict myself, otherwise it’s relentless.”

She’s hoping these things will have rubbed off on her children. “And I really try to highlight with them that they are someone outside of this box of social media, you know? And it’s not just social media and having a camera on your phone and [recording everything] and being distracted. There will be times where it’s no games, no phones – let’s sit and have a conversation, let’s watch an old-school movie and see how that goes. That’s really important.”

Seeing the funny side of life is, of course, something she’s made a career out of. Love has previously talked about how “humour is healing” is her motto – helping her through some very hard times, including caring for her mother, who had dementia, before she passed away in 2009.

“Humour has been healing,” she reflects today. “I grew up around a lot of amazing women – their character was so vibrant, facial expressions and accents. And humour was so vibrant and alive in my life, that I think that’s what I used to get through many different aspects of life, whether it’s good things, adversities, studying, children, there’s always been that one thing that’s followed through, which is humour.”

It weaves through family life still.

“Kids are funny,” she says with a laugh. “Sometimes they don’t mean to be, but God dam, children are just hilarious. And if you don’t laugh your way through parenting, then I don’t know… Those of us who have children, we’ve all had those moment where you’ve changed the baby, you’re about to step out of the house and they’ve done a tsunami poo. You’re dressed up beautifully and didn’t realise there’s vomit on your shoulder, trickling down your back.

“We’re all learning on the job. Parenting is one of those things that, you’ve got friends and family around and there’s books to read, but you never know what it’s going to be like until you’re in the motion of it,” Love adds.

“As long as you can try and have access to people that encourage and support you, if you can use a little bit of humour to get you through, then why not?”

Judi Love has teamed up with Ukie to launch ‘ParentPowerUps’, to help families use parental control settings to manage screen time, in-game purchases and access to age-appropriate content in video games. Visit AskAboutGames.com