IN HIS autobiography Prince Harry gives away the bedtime secrets of his father.
“Teddy went everywhere with Pa. It was a pitiful object with broken arms and dangly threads, holes patched up here and there.” He added that, in his opinion, Teddy expressed the essential loneliness of the king’s childhood.
It’s actually no secret that many adults, both men and women, keep a beloved soft toy nearby as they go through life.
You become attached – you talk through problems – a hug can be very comforting. And a soft toy can help concentrate the mind when there are troubles or upsets, holding on to the teddy is soothing and sleep can come more quickly.
It’s all to do with ‘mindfulness’, which is a technique you can learn. It involves focusing on what's happening right there and then. Is it difficult to learn?
It’s never too late – in fact it’s being taught in many organisations and in some primary schools at a time when the mind is open to training.
Frank Liddy is foremost in this initiative. He has worked in the community care voluntary mental health sector for more than 25 years and currently delivers mindfulness programmes for the Belfast-based charity Inspire. He is also the founding director of the Belfast Mindfulness Centre; co-founder of Compassion City Belfast and Northern Ireland’s representative for The Mindfulness Initiative; and also co-founder of the Black Mountain Zen centre.
So he knows what he’s talking about. When he visits schools he asks the children if they’ve ever heard of stress and what it is?
So opens the discussion with simple examples to release tension in the mind and body.
“I ask the children to stretch out their hands and then curl up the fingers into a fist – and then stretch them out. They then do this breathing in and out with the movement and because they have to pay attention to that one thing all else is forgotten and stress is relieved.
VISUALISE YOUR STRESS
Frank likens stress to a two-tonne truck coming up the road, the sound is far away coming closer, then it reaches a peak before passing on into the distance.
If you can recognise that the peak will pass and try to cope with the volume, you are employing mindfulness.
“Learn to control your reaction to events. Take care of yourself – after all you can stay away from the dentist by cleaning your teeth. Mindfulness is being alert, and alive, and authentic.”
But it isn’t easy to move into such a personal space when you don’t know where the next meal is coming from, or what you’ll do when you’re made redundant, or your marriage is falling apart.
In these circumstances, closing your eyes for a few minutes and thinking of something you love might give a little respite and strength to face the future.
Frank quotes Henry Miller: “The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.”
I know this to be true. Sitting in the early morning summer sun and looking into the grass is a revelation, the light glinting on a dew drop, tiny creatures scuttling around, a bee lighting on clover, it’s an intense and fascinating world and your own concerns are but nothing for that time.
Cooking can bring the same mindfulness, watching food move as it heats, mushrooms are particularly interesting as they spit and jump and move round the frying pan, and the smells add to the experience which is yours exclusively – it’s absorbing, escaping from the routine and refreshing the mind.
Today there is a lot of interest in wellbeing, mental health and mindfulness with more than 1,000 support groups in Northern Ireland. Frank is currently organising a conference in Belfast later this year and there is a promise of an Inspire Mindfulness Institute in Belfast with trained ‘teachers’ and with doors open wide for the general public.
LEARNING FROM THE PAST
Mindfulness, yoga, meditation are all influenced by the gentle spiritual teaching of Buddhism, centuries old, tried and tested.
It’s all to do with taking control of your own mind and body, of learning how to cope and my goodness how we need this today.
Anyone can adapt to these teachings which promote being aware of yourself and how you react to what’s going on around you, the people around you, taking one step at a time rather than trying to understand everything at once.
I remember naturalist and broadcaster Olly McGilloway showing me a rose and discussing the engineering involved in the structure of the petals and the wonder of how they opened so beautifully.
He was preaching awareness, of cutting everything else out, allowing that moment to appreciate a miracle.
Mindfulness sounds easy but it takes a lot of practice and patience – keep trying until you succeed. I laughed at Mole in Charlie Mackesy’s book The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse, his favourite saying is: “If at first you don’t succeed have some cake.”
But he also said to the boy: “Isn’t it odd we can only see our outsides but nearly everything happens on the inside. Being kind to yourself is one of the greatest kindnesses.”
Advice is, no matter what you are doing right now, STOP. Check in with your senses, ask yourself what do I see, hear, smell, touch and taste?
Take time to breathe, feel your breath enter and leave your body. Immerse yourself in this moment. And don’t hesitate to find out more about mindfulness to improve your wellbeing by contacting Inspire at inspiresupporthub.org. Phone 028 9032 8474.
- Holocaust Memorial Day is a time to remember the atrocities of war and the millions who died in the most dreadful of circumstances right up to the present. Holocaust Memorial Day is commemorated each year on January 27, the date on which the former Nazi concentration and extermination camp, Auschwitz-Birkenau was liberated in 1945. However, every day is a day to remember.
