Life

Marie Louise McConville: The kids' homework is leaving me stressed out

I realise now that the one thing you don't take think about when you decide to have a baby is their future homework needs
Marie Louise McConville

I remember feeling so relieved to be done with it all.

My overriding memory of homework is the pain I would get in my back as I walked home carried a rucksack filled with textbooks.

Then once home, taking out the big pile of books and just being held hostage by them for hours, my hand aching from all the writing.

Of course, there were some subjects I liked but it was the ones I didn't which caused all the pain.

I absolutely detested science, geography and art and dropped them all as soon as I could and while I wasn't a genius at maths, I got my GCSE.

I have to say, on the final day of secondary school I was delighted to see the end of homework - or so I thought.

I realise now that the one thing you don't take think about when you decide to have a baby is their future homework needs.

With Abbie in P3 now, homework has definitely stepped up a gear and just a few weeks ago, I heard those two dreaded words - "times tables".

Oh please. I felt a sudden nausea and all at once was transported back to primary school and the struggle that was maths.

Abbie took a sheet out of her bag and there before me was a list of maths questions and the kitchen began to spin.

I did my best for her and to be honest, she was well ahead of the game but dear goodness, it stressed me out.

And James's P2 homework is just as bad.

Every Monday he comes home with his homework folder which contains literacy work, which is usually rows of pictures.

He then has to write what he sees below the picture but I don't mind telling you I struggle most weeks just trying to work out what the picture is.

 

One week I was completely lost only for Darren to come home and say straight away that it was a wig - no way, it looked like a knee to me.

One day, James had to write what was wrong with a sentence the teacher had written.

The sentence was about eating soup with a big spoon.

Well, I don't know how long I spent studying the sentence and then my in-laws also had a go.

While I was convinced there were too many words (the journalist in me), my father-in-law believed it was because you don't eat soup rather slurp.

Darren came in and informed us that there was a full stop in the middle of the sentence. Simple.

And don't even get me started on Google Classroom - even when you get the homework done, the process of uploading it is just as difficult.

I can only predict that the homework will get worse as they get older - what are the odds?

Sorry, not surprisingly, I have no idea.

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Australian actress Rebel Wilson has revealed that the simple key to her recent phenomenal weight loss was walking.

After declaring 2020 her `Year of Health', the Pitch Perfect star went on to lose an incredible 77lbs.

Speaking in an interview with Apple Fitness+, the 41-year-old said: "The doctor said to me, 'Rebel, the best way for you to lose unwanted body fat is just simply walking.

"Doesn't have to be high-intensity, doesn't have to be uphill, just moderate walking an hour a day. And if you can do that, for you, for your body type, it's, like, the best way to lose unwanted body fat'."

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What is Ed Sheeran at?

I mean, I know I'm not one to judge, but a burial chamber? Really?

I know the world of celebrities can be a bit strange sometimes and certainly Mr Sheeran's latest planning application has raised a few eyebrows.

The Shape of You performer has asked his local council in Norfolk for permission to build a small crypt on his property. Yes, you heard that right.

The 30-year-old singer has already been given permission to build a place of worship in the grounds of his huge estate.

However, now, he has submitted another planning application to East Suffolk council, asking for permission to build a small crypt under the chapel.

Sheeran's private place of retreat has been modelled with curved walls on the plan and in elevation, which give it a sweeping boat-shaped feel.

The burial chamber would then measure 8.9ft by 5.9ft, around the size of a double grave plot.

Sheeran, who is married to wife Cherry with whom he has a daughter called Lyra, is said to have a net worth of £220 million so really, he can apply to build whatever he wants.

Fair play to Ed for doing a spot of life planning and being so organised - what a show off.

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