EVERY week, during lockdown, pensioner Nancy Croft took a bus from east to west Belfast to do her shopping at the Kennedy Centre on the Falls Road. It wasn't the most convenient place to choose – there were other supermarkets and shopping centres much closer to the sheltered dwelling where she lives on her own.
But that journey across the city meant she got to spend time on the Glider, in the company of other people; albeit strangers. Just a nod of the head, a passing 'hello', a smile from a youngster, made her feel less cut off from the rest of the world.
“Going to the Kennedy Centre was great because it was a longer journey from east to west,” 72-year-old Nancy explains. “That meant I was seeing people. Sometimes young people got on the bus and started larking around and that made me smile.
“I felt less lonely when I was on the bus and when I went shopping. Getting out and about helped me. I needed to be among other people. I make a point of saying hello to the people who live near me now. It makes me and them feel better.”
Nancy's story of loneliness among older people isn't unique. Just last month, Hampshire man Tony Williams made headlines after putting up a heartbreaking poster in his window, as a 'last resort' to make friends. Tony's wife of 35 years had passed away from cancer during lockdown and the 75-year-old described how he felt 'cursed by loneliness' as a result.
After unsuccessfully placing two adverts in his local newspaper and handing out cards to strangers, Tony eventually came up with the plan to hold the poster aloft at his window. His story went viral and ended happily, with thousands of people around the world contacting him to offer their hand of friendship.
For many pensioners, loneliness can be a common complaint, particularly during lockdown. Due to Covid-19, there were over 2,500 new calls to Belfast Health ans Social Care Trust’s community co-ordination centres. The vast majority of these calls were from older people, with isolation and loneliness recurring themes. Many services received the same number of requests for assistance from older people in two months that they would normally receive in a full year.
According to a report by local charity Engage with Age, 25 per cent of people aged over 75 who live alone don't speak to someone every day. Covid-19 has complicated an already challenging situation for older people. Engage with Age staff have taken calls from older people who hadn’t spoken to anyone in weeks, from older people who endured the impact of bereavement on their own and from people who experienced enforced isolation from shielding due to medical conditions.
Engage With Age is offering opportunities for safe social activities and telephone befriending through the PAL Project. PAL stands for 'People Addressing Loneliness'.
Group activities, organised by older people themselves, offer a varied programme including socially distanced dancing, walking groups, online activities such as quizzes and “chocolate bingo”, and helping to produce the PAL Gazette newspaper. All activities are Covid secure.
The charity has also introduced a new telephone befriending service, with older people acting as befrienders. The service offers the opportunity for older people who don’t like group activities or who can’t leave their home to have telephone contact every week and have someone to say hello to. The Befriending Service is supervised and moderated.
Nancy, a widow whose two children live in England, says she never really suffered from loneliness until lockdown. Although she has no relatives living nearby, she had made friends in the sheltered accommodation, where she lives. But with many of them shielding during lockdown, Nancy found herself very much alone.
“I used to walk around the building to go and do my washing, then I'd go back to collect it to hang up, and walk around the building again,” she says. “That way I was getting my exercise but also seeing people at their windows or doors. It helped to be able to speak to them.
“We have a big common room here and I've done activities that have been organised by Engage With Age like a games day. But all that had to stop because of Covid.
“I found lockdown very lonely. It seemed to go on for such a long time without any light at the end of the tunnel.”
Nancy says talking to people on the phone has definitely helped cheer her up and that the befriending service is a great idea.
“I'd be very depressed if I couldn't speak to people,” she says. “Having human interaction is food for the soul. "That's why I enjoyed those trips on the Glider. It got me out of the house and around other people. Shopping became my social activity.
“And the people who live around me have become firmer friends. We all need someone to talk to.”
Former nurse and occupational therapy assistant Anne Greenan lives alone in the Ravenhill area of Belfast and has also experienced loneliness. The 84-year-old lost her husband in 1976 and then her partner in 2000. And though a mother, grandmother and great-grandmother, she says loneliness can strike even when you're surrounded by people.
“My family are great. They are very good to me,” she says. “But they have their own lives and I don't want to be a burden or to lean on them too much.
“I grew up an only child, which I think made me quite independent and self-contained. But sometimes things happen in life that make you feel lonely. I've had two big losses to deal with and when I retired from my job, I felt very lonely and cut off from my colleagues.
“Then a few years ago, I ended up in hospital with a perforated bowel and was there for three months. I felt vulnerable and lonely then.”
After retiring, Anne kept herself busy, getting involved with Engage with Age, the Belfast East Seniors Forum and the Greater Belfast Seniors Forum. When lockdown hit, the telephone became a lifeline.
“I learned how to do Zoom but to be honest, I prefer talking to people on the phone,” says Anne. “I know there are people a lot lonelier than me. I have a lot to keep me busy, but there were times during lockdown I felt it, especially when I couldn't sleep at night.
“It was hard not being able to go out, though I tried to get a bit of a walk every day. I spent a lot of time on the phone, talking to people to cheer them up. It cheered me up too.
“The best cure for loneliness is talking. There's always someone you can talk to. Just pick up the phone and talk.”
Eamon Quinn, Director of Engage with Age, says: “How older people feel about getting out and about these days is very personal. It is important to be safe, follow guidelines, but also keep social connections.
“For older people who want more social contact, Engage with Age has something for everyone.”
To find out more or to get involved call Engage with Age on 028 9073 5696 or visit engagewithage.org.uk.
