Sleb Safari: Goop needs you
DO YOU like jade eggs and working for free for someone who has millions in the bank and the same amount in property? You do? Then Sleb Safari has intel on an opportunity which could be right up your street.
Gwyneth Paltrow’s goop (with a small g, very important) is holding an event and needs volunteers to work at it. In goop Health (with a big H, very important) is a summit which will see more than 200 attendees enjoy “a transformative day with a series of influential panels and renowned wellness experts”.
There will, of course, also be “a retail shop packed with favorite goop-approved brands”.
Let’s play a game of guess the goop-approved brands. Coca Cola? You’re fired. An organic, vegan, non-GMO, paraben-free, gluten-free, salt-free, taste-free brand of rice cakes? That’ll be $42 a cracker please.
Volunteers for in (with a small i, very important) goop Health must own a pair of jeans and white trainers but goop T-shirts will be provided, along with meals and snacks “throughout the day” which is as well because in goop Health asks that you be on site from 6.30am to 6.30pm. You’ll also have to show your face at a two-hour training session the night before.
You’ll need to be friendly and energetic too which should be no problem at all if the meals and snacks include packets of Why Am I So Effing Tired?, a “comprehensive vitamin and supplement regime” priced at only £87 for a month’s supply.
Your duties? “Job duties entail but are not limited to:
:: Managing onsite activation schedules and line management for various activities
:: Helping guests with questions about the event
:: Overseeing various areas such as check-in, “goop hall” and the retail area
:: Helping with crowd control throughout the day; in the Panel room and beyond”
Simples. And if there’s any downtime Gwyneth isn’t going to mind if you play around with the Burlesque Tassel Pasties which retail for £17.94 in her online shop.
Other requirements include the ability to work an iPad and carry up to 30lbs in merchandise. That’s a lot of tassel pasties...
If you need any further encouragement, goop says this: “In goop Health once again brings our health and wellness content to life from the brand known for trailblazing the genre and raising the collective consciousness on everything from cupping to clean beauty.”
Wow, Sleb Safari’s not sure it’s ever been afforded the opportunity to raise the collective consciousness. And eat free snacks for 12 hours. Where does Sleb Safari sign up?
Halloween High Five to Jamie Lee Curtis
HAT tip to Jamie Lee Curtis for confirming what what we all believed to be true.
Jamie is promoting the Halloween reboot and was asked by an Australian journalist if the film had been taxing, “because it looked exhausting”.
Jamie replied: “...for me to say it was hard work, somebody should like literally tell me to shut up because being an actor in a movie is not hard work. It's physical, it can hurt a little bit, it can be very taxing emotionally.”
She added: "But any person trying to raise a couple of kids and hold down a couple of jobs works way harder than I've ever worked a day in my life."
High five Jamie Lee Curtis.
I’m A Celebrity Line-Up Rumours
NO sooner has one reality tv show started than another one is spotted warming up on the side-line and this time it’s I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. The rumour mill has been turned up to 11 and the names being spat out include Brendan Cole, Strictly’s former bad boy (lol), Shayne Ward of X-Factor and Coronation Street fame, former football manager Harry Redknapp and Anne Hegerty who’s the Governess on The Chase.
What a mixed bag. Between them there’ll be someone who loves to cook, someone who loves to stir the pot and someone who really doesn’t mind rats. Sleb Safari is going to predict that Anne has a soft spot for rats and Brendan is a dab hand at campsite cooking. We’ll wait and see who’s the pot stirrer.