SLEB Safari joins you today from outside Paris Hilton’s home where it’s carrying a Chihuahua, wearing a trucker hat, cropped top, low-slung jeans, heels and the colour pink, all over.

Paris, hotel heiress, Chihuahua aficionado, perfumiere and DJ, invited W magazine into her home recently so it is only a matter of time before the door swings open and the hostess ushers Sleb Safari in.

The way W magazine describes it, the Hilton Home is a cross between Graceland and Xtravision.

It’s covered in images of Paris, including framed selfies and a photograph of an infant Paris being cradled by Nancy Regan, plus a cardboard cut-out of herself in the dining room.

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Paris told the magazine she’s planning to get rid of some of the iconography because she wants to become a collector of art.

“I am starting an art collection, so I’ll be taking some of me down. Right now, I’m just looking, but I love Warhol, Damien Hirst, and Alex Israel.”

Don’t be daft Paris, no-one could produce a piece of art more stunning, more evocative, more hot, than a photograph of you.

Speaking of hot, Paris has had her catchphrase, “That’s hot”, legally trademarked. Presumably it ranks at number two behind the late, great Paul Daniels’ “You’ll like it, not a lot, but you’ll like it”.

You know what else is hot? This LA sun. Sleb Safari’s Chihuahua is starting to get angsty. What it really needs is to spend some time with Paris’ pooches Harajuku Bitch, Diamond Baby, Princess Paris Jr., Prince, and Prince Baby Bear who live in a miniature version of their owner’s house.

If you’re picturing a cutely painted kennel stop now. These dogs live in a two-story home with a pool view.

What helped pay for the mansion and the mini mansion? Well, Paris and former BFF Nicole Richie were the original reality TV stars long before the Kardashians were belched into existence.

In fact, madam makes the audacious claim in her W magazine interview that she invented the selfie.

“If a beeper had a camera, I would have taken a selfie with it… I think I have a selfie from when I was a little kid, like on a disposable camera.”

Do you know what else she thinks? She thinks today’s celebrities have it "so easy".

"Nowadays, I feel like it's so easy becoming famous. Anybody with a phone can do it."

Which gives Sleb Safari an idea. If the mountain will not come to Muhammad then Muhammad must take out its phone and bombard the mountain with selfies via social media before it collapses from heat stroke on the driveway and the Chihuahua runs into traffic.

Now that’s hot.

Burt Macklin to the rescue

THERE was much kertuffle last week over the dismissal of FBI director James Comey.

So much kertuffle in fact that Chris Pratt volunteered his Parks And Recreation alter ego FBI Agent Burt Macklin to take over the bureau's top role.

After Donald Trump dismissed Comey, Pratt tweeted footage of Burt Macklin in action, adding: "Just lemme know."

Burt was the joke persona of Andy Dwyer in the brilliant and much missed Parks and Recreation. Burt, full name Burt Tyrannosaurus Macklin, had an impressive back story – "The best damned agent they had until I was framed for a crime I didn't commit. Stealing the president's rubies".

Parks and Recreation was epic. It was the show that gave us Galentine's Day, Treat Yo Self and Entertainment 720 but best of all it gave us Leslie Knope who said things like "No matter what I do, literally nothing bad can happen to me, I'm like a white male US senator".

Come back Parks and Recreation. The world needs you.

Are George and Amal Clooney expecting a boy and a girl?

George and Amal Clooney’s twins are due next month and George’s business buddy Rande Gerber has sent the truly obsessed into a spin with an Instagram post that hints at the gender of the Clooney Kids.

Rande, who owns Casa Amigos tequilla company with George, posted a picture of onesies that he sent his friend and One Is Pink And The Other Is Blue.

Sleb Safari had to use capitals to denote the seriousness of the situation but normal service will now resume.

Are we supposed to read something into the picture or are Rande and George teasing?

Only one month and one long labour for Amal before we find out!

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