TWO weeks ago I highlighted the Wimbledon mascot David Spearing and it stirred Ronnie Hollywood’s memory.
Dear Anne,
On my first visit to Wimbledon in 2013, men’s quarter final day, the first person we met was the man himself doing his morning steward's duty at the entrance to the Centre Court. He was extremely friendly and kindly posed for photos with us. The year Andy Murray won the singles title, he climbed up to embrace his friends and girlfriend in the crowd. He turned to go back on court when David Spearing called out to him to remind him he'd forgotten someone important in the crowd – his mother!!!!
Regards,
Ronnie
Born into the wrong body
MORE and more women are wearing the pants these days. Trews, jeans, slacks – no matter what you call them they are easy to wear. We’ve a choice between skirts, dresses or trousers. Men don’t have the same choice, although when David Beckham wore a sarong the fashion trend caught on – at least during the summer months. The point is, most of us, men and women, can mix and match according to how we feel.
But what if there isn’t a choice? What if you were born into a male or female body and it didn’t fit? Just because of your body shape, your parents dress you as a girl or a boy and your family accept you as such but what if you can’t accept it?
‘Tomboys’ and boys who are gentle and effeminate are expected to ‘grow out of it’, get cured and conform, but what if that’s impossible? What if your mind is screaming at your body that the geography is all wrong, you’re trapped in the wrong gender? You don’t grow out of that; you either live a life of desperate unhappiness or you think ‘transgender’ and seek help.
In his fascinating book Trans Voices, Declan Henry has thoroughly investigated the subject. He points out that it’s estimated that fewer than one in 100 of the population believe that the sex they were assigned at birth and the gender they later identify with, do not correspond. He believes that as the stigma crumbles, a truer statistical picture will emerge.
“Since the 1970s we’ve seen hormone treatment and surgery becoming more readily available and the development of the internet has allowed trans people to explore their transition options more easily. The numbers of people coming out as trans is increasing quite rapidly and it’s estimated that the number of gender non-conforming people who seek medical care is growing at 20 per cent per annum amongst adults and more than 50 per cent per annum among younger people.”
Staggering statistics and a glimpse of the turmoil some people are going through, someone whose biological sex is male but whose gender identity female, and a female whose gender identity is male – a case of being born into the wrong body. Why should some babies be born into this situation? It’s not known, does it originate in the womb, an imbalance of hormones or genetic factors? Research continues.
In an interview some years ago for this paper, I discovered that although as he grew up outwardly a boy, in his brain, his heart and his psyche Eamon was a girl. Not gay, not a transvestite, just a young man trapped in a body that was totally unnatural to him and one that he hated.
In teenage years Eamon danced to 70s rock music; he conformed, kissing, cuddling and chatting up the girls. He believed that if he worked at it, some day he’d find ‘the one’ and everything would come right.
Eamon went on to investigate his dilemma and when I talked to ‘him’, she was the beautiful model Rebecca De Havilland who had the first full sex change in Ireland and went on to run a most successful model-management agency.
In his book Declan Henry reveals many aspects of this subject, his interviewees talk of the NHS services, of gender-identity clinics, hormone treatment and radical reassignment surgery – rebuilding the physical body to match the mindset, after which there’s all the paperwork, legal documents to be amended and family issues to be sorted out.
Boxing promoter Kellie Maloney, who recently came out as a transgender woman, made a very explicit television programme about her journey and the agonies she went through. From Frank to Kellie wasn’t easy.
As Declan writes, “These man and women have lived through tough times and paid the price for their bravery without compromising their desire to live authentic lives.”
He has interviewed many and varied subjects, each with their own experiences. When Steve became Sophie she told her employer she was a trans woman. “They asked me many questions, for example if I fancied any of the men at work and what toilet I wanted to use. I opted to use the disabled toilet.”
This book is timely. The subject is constantly in the news and Trans Voices will help people understand why people put themselves through the trauma of ‘becoming who you are.’
The heartbreak is summed up by Tyler: “When I was 13, I remember sitting with a hunting knife wanting to castrate myself, thinking somehow that it would fix things or, at least, the doctors would have to make me whole. I went to bed at night praying that an angel would change me in my sleep and I would awake in the right body. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen."
An excellent book for both the public and professionals and of course for those with transgender issues. Declan goes into other areas such as cross-dressing, sex and sexuality, discrimination, hate crime and suicide and he also provides a useful glossary of terms.
:: Trans Voices is available from Amazon or Waterstones or you can order it at www.declanhenry.org.uk There is also an excellent local information page at
transgenderni.com.
