WE begin this week with news from the Kardashian-Jenner household where Kylie Jenner (18) has decided the time has come for her to trademark the name Kylie.
Sleb Safari can but hope that Kylie Minogue, the only Kylie in town as far as Sleb Safari is concerned, mounts a grade A legal challenge and gets this subversive application thrown out of trademark court or wherever these things are deal with.
In other trademark news, Sleb Safari read that stylist Rachel Zoe has trademarked the word 'bananas' and Taylor Swift has trademarked phrases that include "this sick beat" and "cause we never go out of style".
Sleb Safari is unsure if its leg is being pulled because surely Taylor would want to
trademark "squad goal"?
In order to take its mind off sick beat bananas and Kylie Mark I and II, Sleb Safari has immersed itself in the world of Priscilla and Poppleton – Prissy and Pop for short.
These two are the cutest little pigs you ever did see.
Look at them taking a bath. And see how good they are at cleaning the house. Actually, Sleb Safari could do with two little pigs of its own to keep the place spick and span.
Prissy and Pop are micro-pigs, which everyone knows is the best kind of pig if you aren’t in the market for a pot-bellied pig, and they belong to Florida first-grade teacher Melissa Nicholson who takes them to work with her every day.
It is unclear what Prissy and Pop do at school every day but it’s not a good sign that they’re still in first grade.
Prissy and Pop have their own Instagram account (natch) with 604,000 followers which is impressive for any member of the genus Sus, let alone two micro-pigs who wear pearls to the beach and look as though they like to nap. A lot.
Nicholson has written two children's books about her pet pigs and you can buy stuffed toy versions of Prissy and Pop in the online Prissy and Pop Shop along with a range of memorabilia including ‘Prissy and Pop in 2016’ election T-shirts, babygrows and ‘Pop for President’ mugs.
You can also purchase St Patrick's Day t-shirts featuring 'good luck charms Prissy and Pop' and Sleb Safari hopes its order arrives on time for Thursday.
While it waits for the postman Sleb Safari will investigate the cost of owning a micro-pig and whether it would be able to master a steam mop.
#AskingForAFriend, obviously.
Boyzlife Are Coming To Town
BOYZLIFE, the Westlife/Boyzone mash-up that was as necessary as toothache, have sold out their 12-date hotel tour of the UK and Ireland.
The manband consists of Brian McFadden and Keith Duffy and you can enjoy a VIP meet and greet after the show for the bargain price of £77.
A photograph and signed tour merchandise are thrown in to sweeten the deal, along with a premium seat at the concert.
There have been rumours that all nine members of the two bands will get together but Louis Walsh has put that notion to bed.
“That will never ever happen until hell freezes over,” was how he put it.
In the meantime, Boyzone and Westlife fans, Sleb Safari would urge you to content yourself with Brian and Keith. Beggars can’t be choosers.
Julie Walters Is As Wise As She Is Funny
AND so to Julie Walters who may not have graced these pages before, which is a crying shame.
Sleb Safari introduces her into the conversation this week because (a) she’s marvelous and (b) she said some very interesting things to the Times newspaper.
Julie says she used to have a “huge superiority complex” which, to be honest, is a refreshing change from the inferiority complex and imposter syndrome movie stars usually talk about.
“Looking back, fame derailed me a bit. It was a surprise when people would come up to me and say, ‘Ooh, aren’t you in that film?’ In my ignorance, I mistook that for someone saying I was a marvellous actor. Of course they weren’t. They were just gawping. But at the time, I just embraced it.
“I had this huge superiority complex. For years I thought I was the best thing since sliced bread, and if somebody didn’t employ me, then they weren’t worth working for. That’s gradually been chipped away.”
But most importantly, Julie says that when it comes to love she has learned that it’s important to have confidence in who you are.
“Don’t think, ‘What does this person see in me? Am I good enough?’ Instead, ask yourself, ‘What are my needs?’ Don’t be afraid to have a really good look at the person in front of you before making any decisions.”
Top advice Julie and something Sleb Safari thinks should be taught at school.
Social Media Watch
I can see it in your smile... @Adele pic.twitter.com/86YNDg2qyr
— Lionel Richie (@LionelRichie) 1 March 2016
