Opinion

Lynette Fay: Embracing each new chapter of family life

Sleep is something I have fond memories of. We used to be very close. We used to spend at least nine hours each day together. I might have been in love with sleep, but I didn't realise it at the time...

Lynette Fay

Lynette Fay

Lynette is an award winning presenter and producer, working in television and radio. Hailing from Dungannon, Co Tyrone, she is a weekly columnist with The Irish News.

'And you'll never guess what Mummy said next...' Toddlers learning to speak hear everything - even words you rather they didn't...
'And you'll never guess what Mummy said next...' Toddlers learning to speak hear everything - even words you rather they didn't...

THE other morning, in the midst of the 'get out of the house' mayhem, when I secured the toddler into her car seat, she looked up into my face and said, "Now." Just like my granny.

"OK" and "right" are other words I now frequently hear her say when she's babbling to herself in the house.

Every day brings a new word, words being put together, very sweet mispronunciation.

Every word uttered in the house is heard, sometimes stored for future use, and often repeated.

I was told to "Shoosh, Mummy" the other day, which was accompanied by a finger pointed in my face and her eyes squeezed tight, which I found hilarious.

However, I cannot describe the deep sense of shame that I felt when I heard what sounded like a naughty word repeated.

I mean, it may not have been the word that I thought it was, but it might have been. "Shoosh, Mummy" indeed...

Sometimes, though, it's what she doesn't say. The wry smiles, the laughter in the eyes, the bad temper.

I could have sworn that I witnessed an eye roll the other day. It's only a matter of time before she is buying and selling us all, just like every other little girl in the world.

In the midst of learning to talk, the teething over the last few weeks has been the worst yet.

As adults, we know how much toothache hurts, it's heartbreaking to know that she is in so much pain.

I am sure that the screaming in the middle of the night has been magnified by a few decibels, or perhaps I'm just a little more tuned in than, well, himself - ahem...

I am in awe of the superpower possessed by the men in my life to sleep through any noise at all.

From house and car alarms going off to the cries of the teething baby, nothing wakes them.

Sleep is something I have fond memories of. We used to be very close. We used to spend at least nine hours each day together.

I might have been in love with sleep, but I didn't realise it at the time. Since we broke up, it hasn't been the same. Sleep is still in my life and we spend between six and seven hours together each day, but it's meaningless.

I am hoping that our relationship might become more meaningful at some stage in the future - perhaps when the teething stops?

While the toddler isn't sleeping at all at the moment, on the other hand, the teenagers, really, really love sleep.

It turns out that teenagers really love their sleep...
It turns out that teenagers really love their sleep...

I have a blended family, so every day is a school day. I spend my life trying to understand them, and in turn, they teach me a lot about myself. Despite being a teenager many years ago, I know that teenagers sleep a lot, but that is all I profess to know about them.

In the space of a couple of years, we have gone from begging them to have a shower to begging them to get out of it. It takes me 10 minutes to find the toothpaste and soap these days, such is the array of facial scrubs, cleansers, gels, shampoos, conditioners, you name it, which are now piled high in the bathroom.

In contrast to our busy household, I see other houses becoming quieter as students return to college.

A couple of friends were talking about loading up the cars to leave their children off to university for the first time. They were full of mixed emotions - delighted to see them start a new chapter, while knowing that they will have to get used to the house being a lot quieter, and they will be worried for them as they begin to find their way in the world.

I heard a news report last week about the student housing crisis in Galway. Luckily, I got a room in halls for the first year, but after that, it was a lottery. I shared rooms, changed houses, the standard was poor for a while.

It looks like nothing much has changed in 25 years. I don't envy anyone trying to find somewhere decent to stay.

I think back to that first day when my parents left me off in Galway. I was lonely for a couple of days and wondered what I was doing, but eventually found my feet.

Just like the teething, the sleeping, the queuing for the bathroom, it is all temporary and just another chapter in family life.