Gemma Collins - Nobel Peace Prize nominee, daughter of a woman who met an alien on the train, trapdoor-phobe, Dancing On Ice/I’m A Celebrity/The Only Way Is Essex alumnus, Marbs celebrant and Diva Forever - has only gone and become the face of a cat cafe in London.
The people responsible for naming the cafe were disciples of the ‘what it says on the tin’ school of thought and so the establishment is called Be A Cat Cafe.
Gemma got on board because (a) she has a mortgage and (b) she is a cat lover and owner. Her blue-eyed feline friend is called Snowybelle - Arthur was taken - and Gemma is here to tell you that she and the cat are two peas in a pod.
“My beautiful blue-eyed cat, Snowybelle, is everything I love in a cat – mischievous, fun, playful and independent, full of character and fabulous, just like me!” Gemma said, according to the press release.
“And that’s why I love her so much, we’re just so alike.
“I’m here for cattitude and think that if people tried being more like a cat, they’d be a lot more chilled out and relaxed.
“Say no to the things you don’t want to do, say yes to being more playful and adventurous, the confidence will then come.”
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Sleb Safari: Gemma Collins' mum met an alien on the train
To be fair, Gemma is on to something with her ‘say no to the things you don’t want to do’ although it’s challenging if the thing you don’t want to do is the thing you’re paid for or involves your own children.
She’s embracing her inner Yoda with “say yes to being more playful and adventurous, the confidence will then come” and Sleb Safari shall add ‘sage’ to the GC’s list of achievements/fun facts.
Act like a cat, channel a cat, give as many you-know-whats as a cat… Sleb Safari can get on board with that, but what does leave it feline confused about is the fact that you can’t bring your cat to the cafe and there are no resident cats, like in Japanese cat cafes. You have to Be More Cat without having any cats to observe or interact with - you’re expected to ‘enjoy’ an adult-size cat climbing frame and a cat nap area alongside fellow humans. So far it’s conjuring memories of George Galloway pretend-lapping milk from Rula Lenska’s cupped hands and washing his whiskers afterwards. *Shudder*
The Be More Cat Cafe is a pop-up ‘experience’ so do hurry! Wouldn’t want you to miss out!
Nicholas Hoult and the bugs
Sleb Safari has long felt that while insect consumption is part of a balanced diet in many countries bugs are not a dietary delight Sleb Safari will be dabbling in.
How and ever actor Nicholas Hoult might just have changed Sleb Safari’s mind. He was chatting to L’Officiel magazine about his new film Renfield and all the insects he ate and, honestly, it didn’t sound so bad.
“They’re dried-out and flavored crickets, though, so they were pretty tasty, to be honest with you. Salt and vinegar was the best; there was a barbecue flavor. But the one that I didn’t like was a potato bug that hadn’t been flavored, and that tasted quite buggy. It was quite big as well.”
Ok, we can skip the potato bug. Nicholas continues: “They were all dried and dead though; I wasn’t just randomly picking bugs off the floor. They made little caramel cockroaches—those were the best ones, actually, apart from that they get stuck in your teeth, but it looked exactly like a cockroach made of caramel.”
Dried insects sound so much more appealing when there’s caramel and barbecue involved.
Martha Stewart's airport chic
That echoey laughter you hear is Sleb Safari, still chortling, days later, about an Instagram post by Martha Stewart about her airport escapades.
Martha’s flight was cancelled and where the rest of us would try to fill the time spraying perfume, sampling hand creams, trying on sunglasses, Martha flexed.
“My flight to Chicago was cancelled today,” she wrote. “Chicago O’Hara was closed mid morning to all flights because of very bad weather. I missed my speaking engagement at a huge gathering hosted by @beckershealthcare. This is the very first time in my career that I missed a contracted appearance and I felt really disappointed. However I used the newly found time to get a manicure pedicure by Luda and a haircut by the maestro himself @johnbarrettnyc The new do is refreshing and lovely! Thanks John!!!”
Martha Stewart 1 The Rest of Us 0
