THE death of anyone close to us can be devastating.
While we cry over the relationships we have lost, losing a child to stillbirth can be even more difficult to deal with as we didn't get the chance to develop a relationship in the first place.
Along with mourning the loss of a future together, that grief is often compounded by a mother's constant questioning about whether anything could have prevented her child's death.
Stillbirth is defined as a baby born dead after 24 completed weeks of pregnancy. If a baby dies earlier in pregnancy, it is known as a miscarriage.
The number of stillbirths and deaths shortly after birth remains stubbornly high, claiming 17 babies every day on average in the UK.
Here in Northern Ireland, four babies a week are stillborn or die in the first week of life.
And it's not just parents who suffer: the impact of stillbirth can have a shattering effect on the wider family circle.
Friends and relatives may not know how to respond, often avoiding talking about the baby so as 'not to upset' the mother.
New drama Return to Zero is helping to break through the silence, offering a beacon of cinematic light to the many in search of answers, understanding and healing.
Based on the true story of director Sean Hanish, who lost a child at 37 weeks, it stars Minnie Driver and Paul Adelstein as Maggie and Aaron, a happily married couple preparing for the arrival of their first child.
Just weeks before their due date they are devastated to discover that their baby son has died in the womb and will be stillborn.
Maggie and Aaron attempt to go on with their lives but cannot escape their postpartum grief. No one seems to understand the hell they are going through.
Aaron’s dad, Robert (Alfred Molina), encourages his son to bury himself in work, while Maggie’s mum, Kathleen (Kathy Baker), always says the wrong thing.
"Making this film is a real opportunity to break the silence that surrounds stillbirth," says Sean Hanish, who brings emotional truth to his movie.
"The ripple effect of losing a child is powerful and devastating not only to the couple but to their family, friends and community.
"There are support groups but our society doesn't have a reference point regarding how to discuss this taboo topic. I believe this film can be the vehicle that can drive and provoke that conversation.
"To me, making Return to Zero means being able to tell a story that has never been told on film before."
One of the most important missions of Return to Zero is to open up discussion surrounding stillbirth, miscarriage and neonatal loss.
A small number of charities worldwide have been selected to hold fundraising screenings. Two local charities devoted to helping those affected by the loss of a baby, Life After Loss and Sands (Still Birth and Neo Natal Society), are hosting the Irish premiere of the film at Belfast's Odyssey cinema on May 29.
Anne Marie Smyth is the chairperson on the NI Sands steering committee and runs a Sands group in Downpatrick.
The 37-year-old can fully relate the the characters in the movie, as in September 2010 her first son Colin was "born asleep".
The Killough civil servant was admitted to the Ulster Hospital nine days past her due date, when a scan revealed her baby's heart had stopped.
Whilst the Justice Department have recommend a change to Northern Ireland's abortion law, allowing termination's in fatal foetal abnormality cases where doctors believe a baby will die in the womb or shortly after birth, Anne Marie is grateful for giving birth to little Colin.
"I can't fathom people down the abortion route," she says.
"I had to go through a natural birth and it was actually a joyous occasion as I still couldn't wait to see what he looked like.
"People have said to me in the past would it not have been better if I had lost Colin earlier in my pregnancy and that the labour must have been so depressing, but the days in hospital where I held my baby where so precious and can never be taken away from me."
Colin was kept in a cot packed with ice at Anne Marie's bedside for three days, allowing her to spend three previous days holding him, taking photos and letting her friends and family, including her brother from Australia meet him.
Although she had a box of memories for the little time she had with baby Colin, the reality of a stillbirth hit when she returned home with empty arms and a broken heart.
It took Anne Marie six months before she was ready to reach out for the support of others. Attending a Belfast Sands support group, she met other bereaved parents who had experienced the same grief.
She later went on to reach out a hand to others in her local area, setting up a Sands group in Downpatrick. Her advice to others parents who suffer the loss of their little one is to reach out to others who have been through it and are "more in tune with exactly how you are feeling".
"It's not a formal group setting where you are forced to stand up and tell your story. But just a coffee and a chat can help," says Anne Marie, who believes that viewing Return to Zero can be beneficial to parents and the wider family and friend support network as well as health professionals.
"Brother, sisters and grandparents are sometimes the forgotten sufferers. This is an opportunity to see how stillbirth affects the extended family who are years later still too nervous to talk to you about your loss."
Her advice to them? "You just want your son or daughter to be remembered. I love it when people bring him up or say what age would your other wee boy have been because it's keeping the memory alive."
Whilst Anne Marie spoke with a bereavement midwife in the Ulster Hospital, these are not available in all trusts. Sands are currently offering bereavement care training to midwives as there is no mandatory training for them in this area.
"Once you go home without your baby, everything that has been said to you in hospital is going through your head and a rogue comment might have a very damaging effect," she explains.
"From the perspective of our group, we want to get across to health professionals that it's such a traumatic time and sensitivities need to be there."
As in the movie, Anne Marie believes that hope can return. Although she still mourns and remembers Colin every day, she is still enjoying life with her other boys, Sam (3) and Ryan (1).
"The only thing that kept me going was that someday we would have more children. But you never get over a stillborn, you never forget.
"I look at my other children and think Colin would have been doing this or reaching that milestone."
:: Return to Zero will be screened at Odyssey Cinemas on May 29. Tickets cost £9.50 from Lifeafterloss.org.uk
