Channel 4 has finally found a celebrity reality TV show to replace the bloodbath that was The Jump, and it’s called Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins.
You’ll remember The Jump as the winter sports show in which celebrities were stretchered off the Austrian alps like clockwork.
In the run up to Josie Gibson’s 2017 participation she worried about being “sick in my helmet and it all goes in my eyes”. By close of play on day one of training she realised if that was the worst thing that happened she would be getting off lightly.
They ended up cancelling The Jump after four series when the insurance company got in touch to stress that 34 of the 60 celebrity contestants had suffered injuries that included a broken back and did Channel 4 have enough money in the bank for the premium?
Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins is also a hotbed of fractures and PTSD, but with former armed forces personnel yelling at celebrity contestants rather than former professional athletes offering firm, character building encouragement and warm embraces.
The 2022 final of Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins was broadcast a few weeks ago but the 2023 series is already being filmed in Thailand and The Sun says the celebrities are dropping like flies. Half way through filming and six contestants have already left due to illness or injury with three hospitalised on the same day. That must beat all records set by The Jump.
The Sun reported that The Wanted’s Siva Kaneswaran, footballer Jermaine Pennant and cyclist Jon-Allan Butterworth all passed out during a march in tropical heat. On top of that Love Island’s Montana Brown dislocated her kneecap, former rugby player Gareth Thomas pulled a hamstring and, horror of horrors, The Only Way Is Essex alumnus James Argent was withdrawn on medical grounds after contracting trench foot and jungle rot.
An insider told The Sun: “They are celebrities, not soldiers. They aren’t used to the hot, harsh conditions and being pushed to their limits.
"The people who fell ill and were injured were not unfit or out of shape. Siva, Jermaine and Jon-Allan are all fit blokes but all individually blacked out and had heat stroke.
"James’ issues with his feet were awful too. He was in agony as the infection took hold because of the wet boots and he could suffer for months now."
In the 2022 series Pete Wicks nearly drowned after being knocked unconscious while jumping from a helicopter. It was his second attempt at taking part in the show as he had to withdraw last year due to a rib injury. Fatima Whitbread and Jennifer Ellison broke ribs this year jumping from that helicopter of doom and when, back home, the pain drove Jennifer to A&E she says she was told she had broken ribs, blood in her lung and a bleeding spleen.
“The infection in my lung was really nasty,” she added for good measure. She also described the show as “inhumane” but insisted "the reward was life-changing". So there’s that.
Sleb Safari doesn’t want to be overly dramatic here but… could there be dark forces at work in Channel 4, trying to rid the world of our beloved celebrities one ski jump and one helicopter drop at a time?
Celebrity Halloween door decorating
Happy Halloween y’all. Celebrity celebrations this year have been predictably extra and Sleb Safari is very much in favour of this exercise.
Dressing the front door is huge and Stacey Solomon and Tamara Ecclestone have outdone themselves. Brava ladies.
Stephen Graham mistaken for Craig from Big Brother
Sleb Safari has never felt as anxious watching a TV programme as it did when Stephen Graham was playing an undercover police officer who infiltrated a drugs gang in series five of Line of Duty.
He’s a brilliant actor but if you’ve seen him in Line of Duty, Boiling Point, Help, or anything else he’s been in, you already know that.
Stephen’s a pretty recognisable face and yet… an extra on a set recently mistook him for Big Brother 2000 winner Craig Phillips.
Stephen explained: “One of the supporting artists – thought I was someone else and said, ‘You are doing really well for yourself.’
“And I thought she was being really kind. But then she said, ‘I never thought it would happen to you after Big Brother’ – she thought I was Craig.”
Ouch.
