Sleb Safari: Golden Girls At Sea Cruise? Sign me up

The Golden Girls at the 2008 TV Land Awards. Beatrice Arthur and Rue McClanahan have since died while Betty White is alive and kicking at 97

THIS day next year Sleb Safari will be greeting you from the seven seas. That’s right, Sleb Safari is planning a cruise. But not any old cruise, this is the Golden Girls at Sea cruise, where 2,000 like minded (high minded?) individuals will be indulging in high jinks, Sophia, Blanche, Rose and Dorothy style.

We’ll be departing from Miami, where the Golden Girls shared a home, and spending five nights at sea. Sleb Safari can’t imagine we’ll be going very far since we return to the same port we sailed from. Let’s face it, you can get away with that carry-on on a boat since everything looks the same on the water. It would be much trickier trying to reach, say, St Olaf or Sicily.

The company behind the cruise is promising a feast of related activities, including a Golden Girls bar crawl, karaoke at the Rusty Anchor which was Blanche’s favourite spot for picking up hotties and the place which kicked her out for mixing margaritas in a sailor’s mouth, a fancy dress party (three guesses what the four main costumes are going to be) and a bingo night.

Sadly, Betty White who played Rose is the only living cast member. She’s 97 and has quite the work ethic, so there’s every chance she could take a chopper out to the cruise liner for a special appearance. Who wouldn’t want to hear her tell a St Olaf story?

Tickets start from around $1,000 and include unlimited drinks. Let the mayhem ensue!

The Golden Girls cruise is a full 12 months away, so Sleb Safari is going to get some practice in between times and has been investigating other, celebrity-themed boat rides.

Unfortunately, it has missed the most recent David Hasselhoff cruise around the Med, as well as the sailings hosted by New Kids On The Block and Backstreet Boys and Alan Cummings' January 2019 transAtlantic crossing.

Most painful of all, it’s too late for the Oprah/Gayle Williams’ three day Girls’ Getaway Cruise which boasted 'conversations with Oprah' plus a turn-down service that saw guests return to their rooms to discover Oprah quotes printed on cards and placed on their pillows.

This dark, dark cloud does have a silver lining. To wit, Sleb Safari has dusted off its suede soled dancing shoes and booked a spot on the 14-night Spain, France and Monaco Strictly Come Dancing cruise. That’s right, Sleb Safari is going to spend half of June watching Katya and Neil Jones’ every movement. It might dabble in a private dance lesson, book dinner with the professionals and compete in the Strictly cruise final so that Craig Revel Horwood can get extra mileage out of his '2' score card.

By the time the Golden Girls At Sea cruise comes around Sleb Safari is going to have this cruising business down pat. Is cruise consultant a proper job? Asking for a friend...

Breakdancing at the Paris 2024 Olympics

SLEB Safari doesn’t know about you but it’s already limbering up for the Paris 2024 Olympics, what with having missed the entry deadline for Tokyo 2020.

There’s a real concern its leg warmers might not last another five years but Sleb Safari will cross that bridge when and if.

Four new sports are being considered for inclusion in the 2024 games, in addition to the 28 already on the Paris programme.

Climbing, skateboarding, surfing and breakdancing are pending final approval from the International Olympic Committee.

Sleb Safari loves to see athletes push themselves and is very much in favour of watching them surfing on the Seine, climbing the Eiffel Tower, skateboarding on the cobbles of Montmartre and breakdancing in the Bois de Boulogne. Bon chance!

Derry Girls' Welcome Return

ONLY one more week until Derry Girls is back on our screens. The second series starts on Channel 4 at 9.15pm on Tuesday March 5 and judging by the trailers it's going to be as brilliant as series one. Sleb Safari cannot wait to see what the girls and the 'wee English fella' are up to and it is more than ready for a sighting of Sr Michael in her judo gear.

Social Media Smut

Enjoy reading the Irish News?

Subscribe from just £1 to get full access

Today's horoscope


See a different horoscope: