When my husband died four years ago I was grateful for the company and support of a good friend.
She lives just around the corner from me and, when we are not working, we spend a lot of time going out walking and talking.
I was chatting with her husband recently and was shocked when he mentioned they were moving soon.
I must have let my feelings show because he immediately wondered why I didn't already know.
I now feel so hurt and afraid and I don't know what I'll do when she goes as I've never found it easy to meet new people.
Why didn't she tell me sooner?
WP
FIONA SAYS: I suspect your friend was aware how much you depended on her and knew how upset you'd be, so simply didn't know how to tell you.
Whatever her reason, don't let this spoil your friendship.
Talk to her soon and let her know how much you value her and that you understand how difficult it must have been for her to tell you.
Once she's moved, you can stay in touch by telephone, email, Skype, WhatsApp, Facebook or any of the myriad way of connecting now.
It's so much easier these days than it ever used to be so you're not losing a friend, just changing the way you interact – and you can, of course, visit!
Before your friend moves, though, think about ways you can meet new people and perhaps ask her to help you.
You might want to take up a new sport or activity, do an evening class or two, or given your love of walking, join a walking group or the Ramblers (www.ramblers.org.uk).
You may have found it difficult to make friends in the past, but your life has changed and, perhaps with a little effort, you might find it easier now.
MY SON IS SO UNHAPPY
When I divorced three years ago my two daughters stayed with me and my now 14-year-old son moved in with his father.
Since then I have seen him a couple of times a year, but it always bothered me that he looked so unhappy.
When we got together last week for my youngest daughter's birthday, he looked okay but, the moment we were alone, he burst into tears and accused me of abandoning him.
I tried to explain that it was not that simple, but we were both upset and he ran out of the house still crying.
I have tried to call him a couple of times but he won't talk to me and I'm desperate to know what to do as I feel so guilty.
DB
FIONA SAYS: He is clearly deeply upset, so it's important you get through to him and talk about this.
Your son needs to know you love him and, if he won't talk to you on the phone, you'll either have to go and see him or else write to him and explain.
Twice yearly visits sound very infrequent to me and I can't help but wonder why there has been so little contact.
This certainly won't be enough going forward, as you need time to talk through these complex issues.
Might your ex-husband help as, surely, he will be worried seeing his son so unhappy too?
And what about your daughters, his sisters – have they felt equally abandoned by their father?
Whilst you and your husband may have thought the separation agreement you worked out was for the best, it certainly hasn't felt that way for your son.
Somehow or another you need to build trust and loving support for your son – which may mean you and your ex-husband have to work together to help him.
Otherwise he may be permanently scarred by what has happened to him.
If you have a problem you'd like Fiona's advice with, email help@askfiona.net
