THREE years ago, I persuaded my elderly mother to move in with us.
She and my husband have always got along well and she needed more help, so I didn't think it would be a problem.
It was fine to begin with, but now my husband and I are beginning to feel the strain.
We've both got full time jobs, but I have to pop home every lunchtime to see mum and sometimes she's hard work.
We haven't had a holiday since she came to live with us because she can't travel, and I feel that if I don't have something to look forward to in 2017, I'll go mad.
It's not mum's fault, but I am beginning to resent having her here and I'm sure my husband is too.
PP
FIONA SAYS: Sadly, this scenario is all too common for the many thousands of people looking after elderly or sick relatives.
Carers must have the chance of a break now and again otherwise it all becomes too much – as you are finding.
Have you talked to social services to see whether your mum might be entitled to help of some kind? Perhaps someone to save you going home every lunchtime, for a start?
Have you considered perhaps a day-care centre for her to go to a few days a week?
Do also please contact Carers UK (www.carersuk.org) as you will find them a huge help in terms of advice and information.
Their leaflet Looking After Someone is full of vital information – including advice on how to get a much-needed break.
When you care for someone you have to value yourself too – you've probably got so used to putting your mum's needs first that you're in danger of forgetting about your own.
HE'S MARRIED - I'M SCARED
I'VE fallen in love with a married man who is more than 20 years older than me.
He is unlike any of the boyfriends I've had in the past – he's considerate, caring and says he loves me and wants to be with me.
He admits he still has feelings for his wife and doesn't want to upset her, and he does get anxious sometimes about her finding out.
We've slept together a few times, but because of my parents and my job, I'm terrified of getting pregnant, so have relied on him to use a contraceptive.
Most of all I'm worried that if he realises how much this relationship is scaring me, I will lose him.
Will it always be this difficult?
BV
FIONA SAYS: I'm afraid that, if you insist on continuing this relationship, it almost certainly will always be difficult.
It may get worse, as affairs with married men are never easy.
Married men rarely leave their wives for a lover, especially when, as in your case, they admit to still having feelings for her.
Unless something happens to his wife, you could have many years of anxiety with this man.
A genuine loving relationship is one in which partners can feel happy and at ease with each other.
There is so much about this relationship that is making you anxious that I can't help but wonder: what is in it for you?
Is it really worth all this anxiety?
Were he to leave his wife for you, I still don't think you're ever going to feel completely at ease.
He has shown himself capable of cheating on one woman in his life, so why wouldn't he cheat on you?
It's hard to give up someone you love, but I think you already know this relationship has no future.
A clean break now will undoubtedly hurt – but save you from greater heart-break later.
SHOULD I APOLOGISE?
JUST over 15 years ago, when I was 16, I treated my then boyfriend very badly when I dumped him in front of our friends.
I've always felt guilty about it, although I've not seen him since.
Last week I bumped into him and I was so embarrassed.
I am now married with a family, but I found I was still attracted to him.
All we did was have a quick chat, which was long enough for me to find out that he's still single and has moved back to the area.
Is it too late to say I'm sorry?
GF
FIONA SAYS: It's never too late to apologise, but in your case I think you need to be careful.
What are you hoping to gain?
The fact you say you are still attracted to him makes me think you're after a bit more than an easy conscience.
Is there something wrong with your marriage?
I think you need to be absolutely certain about what you are trying to achieve because otherwise this relationship could, potentially, harm you and your family.
As for your ex-boyfriend, would he really want to renew a relationship with someone who hurt him?
Your guilt about the way the relationship ended is probably misplaced as teenage romances come and go very easily, and it would be a mistake to dwell on this one too much.
Work at your relationship with your husband and make sure that's your priority rather than worrying about an old flame who has almost certainly moved on with his life.
WE'RE A BIT CASH STRAPPED
MY husband and I are retired and so don't have the income we used to have when we were working.
Perhaps foolishly, we've spent a lot of money this past year, doing up our house.
It looks beautiful and I'm really pleased with it, but it's made a huge dent in our capital.
So much so, we can't afford to do family get-togethers like we have in the past.
Our two sons, both single, are coming to us for a few days and are used to having a lavish spread.
We simply cannot afford that now, but we don't want to worry them.
How do we get around this?
CF
FIONA SAYS: Any home renovations always cost a lot more than anticipated, and it's usually the finishing touches that add up.
It's always tempting to try to shield your children from life's realities, but there comes a point at which they need to know the truth.
The fact that your two sons are both single and live away from home, I think it's fair to assume they are adults.
It won't do them any harm to know that, as pensioners, you can't afford life as it was before, so tell them, in advance, that you're cutting back and why.
There are all kinds of ideas online you could research for cutting the cost of a dinner – there is even one that shows you how you can have a dinner for £1!
However, if they're both earning huge salaries, perhaps it's their turn to treat you as, no doubt, you did for them in the past.
