UNSOLICITED advice seems to come at you from all angles when you're a parent - from family members to friends and even total strangers - there's always someone on hand to offer comment.
Sometimes it's easy to laugh off, but at times it is not so easy.
From the moment you have a child, suddenly everyone feels compelled to share their best-kept parenting secrets and skills with you.
There are many who feel the need to direct you on how to be a good parent, often offering unwanted advice or remarks.
I recently had an experience that left me speechless, a prime example of how someone I had never met before felt the need to pass on their thoughts - and judgment - on how a parent cares for their child.
Just a few weeks back I was out with a friend and her six month-old baby, enjoying a coffee and a catch up when a elderly lady - a stranger - at the table beside us appeared to take a liking to the little one.
Staring over at our table as the baby boy played happily in his pram, we thought she too had been taken in by his big blue eyes, rounded cheeks and irresistible giggle.
But as she stood up to leave, she leaned down to us and as we smiled, expecting her to say how sweet he was, she shook her head with one of those disapproving looks.
'You should be ashamed of yourself, not having socks on that child', before she turned on her heels and headed out of the café.
Our mouths dropped open as she walked away.
It's not the first time I've encountered strangers being a bit too free with their advice, those who think they are offering help or the value of their experience.
I often remember when my boys were babies and if they cried when we were out and about, people would feel the need to ask me, 'is he hungry', before telling me 'I think that child needs fed'.
All of this gleaned in the three minutes they had seen me struggle to get out of the shop and get home.
Every parent has a similar story about when someone's criticism has made them curse under their breath or shed a tear later that same day.
It doesn't even have to be a comment or remark, it can be a simple look or a disapproving stare - from someone you know or from a complete stranger - that can speak volumes and cause anger and upset.
From the 'well-meaning' advice to the completely rude tuts of disapproval, there's always someone on hand to cause alarm or annoyance.
My husband is always able to dismiss such comments, 'who cares what other people think', he would say.
I know it shouldn't matter what other people think, especially when it's a stranger or a busybody butting into my life. But those remarks and looks annoy me.
From the time your baby is just born to they become a teenager and even beyond, people feel they can question your parenting skills.
There are so many people who want to direct you on how to be a good parent - they don't know you or your children, so how can they assume they know what is right?
Their input should be the easiest to dismiss, but it's often the hardest to dispel in your head.
Whether or not these well-meaning people really do just want to help, their advice can be at best irritating and at worst undermining.
It's natural to be defensive if you feel that someone is judging you.
I've had to accept that many times those who have spoken to me perhaps do not mean to be critical, rather they are sharing their wisdom and chances are some of them were possibly telling me something valuable.
Yes, take on board what others have to say, but do what you think is best.
Parenting can be a bit of a minefield and almost every choice has two opposing sides and remember, it's up to you how you decide to raise your child.
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Competition
Beatlemania is back again with the Stormont Hotel in Belfast set to offer fans a very special treat.
Beatles tribute band, Made in Liverpool, are performing at the hotel on Saturday October 29.
Born and bred in Liverpool, the band are resident in The Cavern in Liverpool and perform to audiences worldwide.
Their performances have been described as "unique, uncontrived and mind blowing" putting on a show that has an "electric atmosphere".
I have five pairs of tickets to their gig at the Stormont Hotel to give away. For your chance to win, simply email your name, address and telephone number - along with the answer to the question below - to competitions@irishnews.com
If you're not lucky enough to win this prize, tickets are available through Ticketmaster, Irishtourtickets.com and the Stormont Hotel reception by phoning 02890 651066.
Closing date for entries is Tuesday October 18 at noon.
(Q) What date will the Beatles tribute band Made in Liverpool perform at the Stormont Hotel?
Normal Irish News Rules Apply
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What's Hot!
World of Wonder - Northern Ireland’s new £1 million children’s play centre has opened at the Lough Shore Hotel in Carrickfergus. The 12,000 sq ft 'World of Wonder' features a massive four-lane Mount Everest themed slide and the 'North Pole' zone with impressive air cannons. Some of the greatest sights on earth such as the Eiffel Tower, Colosseum, Sydney Opera House and even a Carrick-a-Rede rope bridge also feature. Toddlers are well catered for too with a fairy castle area available exclusively for little knights and princesses under four.
Furnishings - If you fancy furnishing your home for less this autumn, have a nosy in CFC Interiors. The family-run company is hosting its annual Furniture Show NI at its stores in Cookstown, Campsie and Newtownabbey until October 23.
What's Not!
Leave Right Now - Will Young has sensationally quit Strictly Come Dancing citing 'personal reasons' for his shock exit. The singer said he was leaving the ballroom with 'joy' in his heart. The show will proceed as normal with a results show on Sunday, when the third celebrity will be eliminated following the public vote.
New baby - TV chef Jean-Christophe Novelli has revealed he missed the birth of his newborn son because he was taking his older boys to school. The 55-year-old, who welcomed his third child with fiancee Michelle Kennedy, said he wept when he first saw a picture of his baby, Valentino Louis.
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Competition winners
The winners of last week's competition to see The Logues are Aine O'Connell from Belfast, Dermot Dawson from Belfast, Imelda McNeill from Newtownabbey, Jacqueline Johnston from Belfast and Ray Delaney from Carrickfergus.
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Easy Peasy Recipe
This week's Easy Peasy Recipe is Black Bean Burritos.
You will need:
2 flour tortillas
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 small onion, chopped
1/2 red pepper, chopped
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1 (400g) tin black beans, rinsed and drained
1 teaspoon minced jalapenos
85g cream cheese
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons chopped fresh coriander
To make:
Wrap tortillas in foil and place in oven heated to 180 C /Gas 4.
Bake for 15 minutes or until heated through.
Heat oil in a large frying pan over medium heat.
Place onion, red pepper, garlic and jalapenos in pan, cook for 2 minutes stirring occasionally.
Pour beans into pan, cook 3 minutes stirring.
Cut cream cheese into cubes and add to pan with salt.
Cook for 2 minutes stirring occasionally.
Stir coriander into mixture.
Spoon mixture evenly down centre of warmed tortilla and roll tortillas up. Serve immediately.
Do you have an Easy Peasy recipe you would like to share?
Are you the queen of quiches, magnificent at muffins or can you turn out some nice scones?
If so, then we want to hear from you.
You can send your name, address, contact number and recipe (plus photo if possible) to:
Easy Peasy Recipes,
Suzanne McGonagle,
Irish News
113-117 Donegall Street,
Belfast,
BT1 2GE
or
s.mcgonagle@irishnews.com
