BENJAMIN Franklin – one of the Founding Fathers of the United States of America - once said that there are only two things in life that are certain: death and taxes.
Even good ol’ Benny could see – with the bifocals he invented – that he was wrong to make such a statement.
For a start, we all know if you have an army of accountants with the credibility of ex-Fifa president Sepp Blatter, avoiding the second item on the list is child’s play.
Death is trickier to evade, I’ll admit, but if you have the foresight to freeze your ‘assets’ cryogenically, there’s no reason why you can’t live on in spirit long after your chips have been cashed.
But this week, I learned that Mr Franklin had overlooked another phenomenon that cannot be avoided. It now seems that the only things certain in life are death, taxes, and ‘sledging’ appearing in Off The Fence.
Before we get to that, ‘North Belfast Gael’ called in to vent his frustrations at Sunday’s pitiful display against Fermanagh in the Ulster SFC quarter-final.
“I travelled down to Enniskillen on Sunday to watch Antrim with hope more than expectation and although Seán McVeigh was one of our better players before he saw red, I don't think the sending off changed the result.
“Frank Fitzsimons’s tactics confused me slightly and I don't know how he expected his side to get scores given how isolated Michael Pollock was in the forward line for the first 20 minutes. There was a serious lack of ideas in general from the away side.
”I would expect a Mike McGurn-trained team to be incredibly fit and physically able and I was a bit surprised that this wasn't the case. Kevin Madden summed it up on Monday when he said lads could be drinking behind the goals one week and playing the next, when in reality club players should be busting a gut to make the county panel.
“It is incredible to think there are 36 clubs in the All-County football Leagues yet Antrim are the least competitive county in the province. Given the aura of disillusionment within the county, this doesn't look likely to change any time soon.”
‘Anonymous’ shares those views and has called for a re-shuffle of the Antrim County Board.
“Sunday was another disaster. ‘Fitzy’ is a good Antrim man but he’s not the answer there and Antrim football and hurling is at an all-time low. The County Board will have to take the blame for it all and they are leaving a legacy of disaster beginning with the Dunsilly and Casement Park scenario.
“Every man and his dog know that the youth structures are a joke and there seems to be nothing being done to address this. Judging by Sunday’s performance, the players have no faith in themselves or each other.”
Antrim players didn’t look as fit as Fermanagh but that's easy for me to say from the comfort of the press box. They were also a man down for the majority of the game and modern GAA systems are complex enough without chasing after a spare man in the Brewster Park sun.
I would stress that Antrim's fitness issues can’t solely fall on the shoulders of Mike McGurn. The phrase ‘you can bring a horse to water but you can’t make him drink’ comes to mind.
Mike is a renowned strength and conditioning expert and the Antrim players will only get out of training what they put in. Most panellists have worked their socks off since Frank took over but until every player subscribes to the same mentality, Antrim’s woes will continue.
As for ‘Anonymous’ and his claims about Frank Fitzsimons, the Lamh Dhearg man was without Kevin O’Boyle, Tomas and Michael McCann, last year’s captain Niall McKeever, centre-half forward Kevin Niblock and Brian ‘Bam’ Neeson - among others. Take that experience out of any team and they will struggle. Give him a break. This project will take time.
After more column inches than I care to count have been spent discussing ‘sledging’ recently, it’s refreshing to see our old refereeing buddies back in the firing line. ‘Stanley’ from *mutters inaudible place name* isn’t referee Maurice Deegan’s biggest fan.
“Yet again the refereeing in the Ulster Championship has been diabolical for the third week running. Referee Maurice Deegan should never have sent off Sean McVeigh and that decision ruined the game.
“I’m just hoping this weekend the game isn’t ruined between Derry and Down. Also, it is a sad state of affairs when you have to bring a lady in to ref a minor Championship game [Fermanagh v Antrim]. They ladies should referee their own code and the men should do the same for theirs.”
Firstly, after watching the replay, Sean’s card was totally deserved and the Ballymena man said so himself on Twitter.
Secondly, your hypocrisy is astounding. In the same voice message, you slated the standard of Maurice Deegan’s performance in last Sunday’s game and then went on to have a go at at Maggie Farrelly, who performed admirably in her first Championship encounter.
Like all referees, Maggie made mistakes. That has to be expected. But if Deegan’s performance was really as poor as you say, you’d see a more entertaining spectacle with Maggie being promoted to senior games.
At the end of last year, Roisin Jordan (Tyrone) became the first female chairperson of a county board in Ireland and now Maggie is refereeing Championship games. Embrace and be proud of the fact that Ulster is the most progressive province because the times they are a changin’.
For your own safety, it’s a good thing I wasn’t able to hear where you were from. Let’s just assume you said you were from the 1950s.
‘Seamus’ has called in to congratulate – yes, congratulate – linesman Paudie Hughes for his input during Sunday’s clash between the Erne County and the Saffrons.
Fermanagh midfielder Richard O’Callaghan was booked for celebrating somewhat enthusiastically in front of Antrim’s CJ McGourty and Hughes informed the ref, to the delight of this caller.
“Fair play to the linesman Paudie Hughes for catching the Fermanagh number nine sledging the Antrim player after they scored a point. It resulted in him being booked and the picture in Tuesday’s Irish News shows this despicable behaviour. Hopefully Pete McGrath doesn’t adopt an Arsene Wenger-esque attitude to what happened.”
Come on, it was hardly ‘despicable’ behaviour. It was unsportsmanlike but passion emanates in Championship conditions from time . Also, Hughes was right to bring the incident to the referee’s attention but you should know that it is a black card offence – not a yellow.
Lastly, ‘Fair-minded Down man’ says Kieran McGeeney was right to suggest that southern teams are allowed to get more physical than the Ulster teams.
”It’s great to hear a northern manager give an accurate account of the blatant bias against six-county teams. If a northern team had played like Kerry and Mayo did in last year’s All-Ireland semi-finals they would have finished the game with about 12 players.
“Antrim man John Gough refereed the 1983 All-Ireland final involving Dublin and Galway. The dirty Dubs ended up with 12 men and Gough never refereed another big game because he refereed it right. The northern teams go into Croke Park with a disadvantage all the time.
“It’s a pity more managers don’t have the guts of Kieran McGeeney.”
A Down man praising an Armagh man… I need a drink.
