HALF of Europe was on fire, and still the climate change deniers were talking about arsonists, while the Israeli right-wing government voted to "save democracy" by over-ruling the country's independent judiciary as its army recruits threatened mutiny.
But, never mind all that, I hear you cry: what about the DUP's seven tests? Yes, Lord Dodds emerged from the House of Lords, that dignified chamber where great minds - like that bra manufacturer and the 29-year-old who worked for Boris Johnson for two wet weekends - ponder the issues of the day.
The world held its breath as Dodds thundered that the Windsor Framework "utterly fails" his party's seven tests, even if the Lords' Committee report said it wasn't a bad start, while conceding problems still existed.
To quote Harold Wilson, "who do these people think they are?". Well, they're the people who cheered on Brexit, then demanded the hardest version, so they're reaping what they sow. Meanwhile, Stormont stays mothballed and the DUP MLAs who are not getting their full salary like the Westminster crew are said to be getting restive.
If only there was a brave leader who could knock a few heads together and warn them that a redundant Assembly is making self-government in Northern Ireland look like the Monty Python parrot – dead, expired, bereft of life and joining the bleedin' choir invisible.
And the more it doesn't function, the more people will start looking at alternative propositions, none of which Doddsy is going to like any more than the prospect of playing second fiddle to a Sinn Féin First Minister.
So, what's the strategy if they don't allow Stormont to get back in the autumn? Continue behaving like Harry Enfield's Kevin The Teenager and sulk on the sidelines? String it out until a general election in the hope that there might be a hung parliament so they can return to the glory days when they held the balance of power? Dream on.
Read more:
- Mary Kelly: Is anyone really surprised that the DUP abstained on the Boris Johnson partygate vote?
- Mary Kelly: Why are the DUP and Orange Order still going on about Drumcree?
- Mary Kelly: Carla Lockhart filling the gap left in the DUP since Ruth Patterson's departure
The Lords report went on to point out that business representatives and other stakeholders have welcomed the Framework and the "potential" it provides for problems that arise in the future to be resolved in a "collaborative manner".
Now, if only we could get a partner in government who understood the benefits of collaboration.
***
I'M JUST back from a week in London where, even despite sporadic strikes, the transportation system works pretty well. Buses were frequent, trains were clean and punctual.
Then we came home, to Belfast International Airport, where we waited in the rain for the bus to the city centre. There once was a railway track, the Knockmore line, a short distance away, but that's not functioned for many years.
The railway system in Northern Ireland was systematically wrecked in favour of investment in roads by the far-seeing post-war government at Stormont. Now, an all-island railways review has made 30 recommendations for routes, split between north and south, which could see the restoration of the line between Derry and Portadown and on to Letterkenny, which would link Strabane, Omagh and Dungannon.
There are also recommendations about re-instating the line from Portadown to Armagh, Cavan and Mjullingar, a new direct line between Lisburn and Newry, and electrifying much of the network, which should see faster cross-border trains as well as reducing emissions.
But the ambitious review cannot be formally published. Why? Because there isn't a Minister at Stormont to sign it off.
***
HOW did Elon Musk become so ridiculously rich when he comes up with some ridiculously stupid ideas?
The billionaire bought the social media network Twitter, and has now decided to change its universally recognisable blue bird logo and replace it with a black and white X. Tweets will also be replaced and posts will be called "X's" instead.
It's about as sensible as taking over Coca-Cola and deciding to call it Brown Pop.
He's already lost half of Twitter's advertising revenue since he bought the company last October and sacked half of the 7,500 workforce. Current estimates suggest it's now worth just a third of the $44 billion he paid for it.
The iconic Twitter bird logo was apparently named Larry, in honour of the legendary Boston Celtics basketball star, Larry Bird. But Musk seems to have a thing about the letter X. Maybe he was an early devotee of 'Spot The Ball' or the football pools. But his son might learn to regret that affection. He was named X AE A-12 Musk.
Thanks, Dad.
