HELLO and welcome to the Sleb Safari Celebrity Awards of 2019. As always, it was a close-run race and a game of two halves. There were winners, there were losers, but what mattered was the taking part.
Showbiz injury of the year
Troubled troubadour Pete Doherty found himself hospitalised after a run-in with a hedgehog in April. To be fair, it wasn’t the hedgehog’s fault; or Pete’s. His dogs were hassling the hedgehog and when he went to the prickly critter’s aid was cut by one of its spines.
Pete thought no more of it until infection set in and he ended up in a hospital bed, tweeting about the “absolute angels” of the NHS who “a million times... deserve our respect and thanks”.
Celebrity whodunnit
2018 was all about Who Bit Beyonce but in 2019 Coleen Rooney created the kind of drama that smut hounds live for.
In short, Coleen suspected someone close to her was leaking personal information to the tabloids so she set up a sting operation. Five months that ran for; five months!
And on October 9 Coleen issued a very public and lengthy j’accuse on her Instagram account which concluded with the words “It’s… Rebekah Vardy’s account”.
That phrase “It’s… Rebekah Vardy’s account” has entered the lexicon and Coleen has recast herself as a super sleuth. Rebekah, meanwhile, maintains her innocence.
Quote of the year
The award goes to Nicholas Cage who talked to the New York Times about doing magic mushrooms with his cat.
"The cat – a friend of mine gave me this bag of mushrooms, and my cat would go in my refrigerator and grab it, almost like he knew what it was. He loved it. Then I started going, ‘I guess I’ll do it.’
"It was a peaceful and beautiful experience. But I subsequently threw them out."
TV show of the year
2019 was the year that Sleb Safari discovered GameFace and how it loves Roisin Conaty. The second series of Killing Eve and Motherland were wonderful and Derry Girls’ return was worth the wait. The episode where they make a break for Belfast to see Take Thon in concert despite there being a polar bear on the loose was genius. Honourable mentions too for This Way Up, Catastrophe and Line of Duty.
Most polite celebrity falling out
Will Young and Piers Morgan had a showdown in the genteel surrounds of the Chelsea Flower Show. Piers had been unkind about Will’s Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) diagnosis and Will decided to speak his mind.
Neither side gave way and the stand-off only ended when Will turned to Piers's parents and said: “I’m sorry your son turned out the way he has, because you both seem like really nice people.”
And then? “I grabbed my mum’s hand and sashayed into the flower show.” High five Will Young.
With the awards wrapped up for another year all that remains is for Sleb Safari to wish you a happy and healthy 2020.
Bafta honour for sparky lady
HIGH fives this week for 87-year-old Lorraine Lake Nepstad who runs the film club at her retirement home and has been nominated for a Bafta.
Lorraine is one of nine people shortlisted for Bafta’s For The Love Of Film award.
She has organised the monthly film club at the London home for five years and at Christmas and Easter residents host a cake and mulled wine sale to raise money to pay for the films.
If Lorraine wins she'll get to attend the Baftas next February. High five Lorraine and keep on keeping on.
Sound the cuteness klaxon
OLIVIA Newton John and John Travolta dressed up as their Grease characters for a sing-along fan event in Florida and how cute do they look 41 years after filming the original???
Phil Vickery will not be making new year's resolutions
Phil Vickery, chef on This Morning and husband of Fern Britton, has spoken to OK! Magazine about new year’s resolutions.
“I made a resolution a few years ago to try and see the other person’s point of view a bit more. A year later, I realised that 99 per cent of people are actually a******** and gave up.”
Phil, do let us know how the 2020 resolutions turn out.
