FOR a hot minute last weekend there was a hullabaloo about Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga having lunch in the south of France with Bono and his friends.
Proof, some shouted, that Lady Gaga had caused Bradley and Irina Shayk to break up. Proof, some shouted, that Lady Gaga and Bradley had fallen in love on the set of A Star Is Born. Proof, some shouted, that their Oscar performance was based on real feelings and not just, you know, acting.
The evidence was captured with a looooooong lens and offered thus: the person seated next to Bradley has blond hair; Lady Gaga has blond hair, ergo...
Further research uncovered the truth and it was the finest reveal in the history of reveals. The blond lady beside Bradley was in fact Bono’s lifelong friend Guggi who’s 60 years of age. And a man.
This celebrity nugget will wander unbidden into Sleb Safari’s mind in the months and years to come and Sleb Safari will welcome it like an old friend and chuckle.
Another of Sleb Safari’s favourite celebrity plus one mix ups happened during the summer when Adele went to see Celine Dion in concert in London’s Hyde Park.
Adele and her husband announced their separation in April so immediately sleb smut hounds were on the scent of a new man.
Adele was pictured holding hands with a ‘mystery man’ (NB: Not Austin Powers) at the gig and for a nanosecond she had a new lover. Until Alan Carr pointed out that the mystery man was his husband, tweeting the picture and declaring “Adele’s new man is well fit”.
The three of them are besties and Adele officiated at Alan and Paul Drayton’s wedding last year which she hosted in her LA home.
Number three in Sleb Safari’s top three celebrity plus one mix ups involved Tom Hiddleston who was pictured outside his home with a ‘mystery brunette’. NB It wasn’t just a brunette wig, there was a woman attached.
“Moving Swift-ly on?” the Daily Mail squealed. The article talked about Tom having a “cosy chat” and “giggling” with a “brunette who couldn’t quite believe her luck”.
That mystery brunette was journalist Taffy Brodesser-Akner who had been spending time with Tom to write a profile for GQ magazine. She says a mortified Tom rang to apologise to her and her husband.
Taffy told the Guardian: “And I said you should not be horrified. It’s the best week of our lives.”
It seems there’s only one way to avert a celebrity plus one mix up. When out for lunch/standing on a pavement/at a Celine Dion concert with a celebrity in a platonic fashion one must always wear a name badge with brief biographical information. Simples.
Celine Dion: Queen or Boss?
A second mention for Celine Dion who deserves all the mentions, all the time.
Celine is on the cover of the prestigious September issue of fashion mag CR Fashion Week and spoke about how she is embracing life and saying yes in a way that she didn’t and wouldn’t have before her husband died.
In the interview she’s asked about being a queen of fashion and she gives a great answer.
“I never really like to see myself as the queen. I’m not playing queen, I don’t want to be the queen. I’m the boss.
“That’s different. I’m the mother, I’m the boss, I’m in charge of my decisions with my team. I try to make the best of myself, to accomplish something, to always put the bar as high as I can.”
Rock on Celine.
Eurovision: The Movie
EUROVISION, the film, sounds exactly like the kind of thing the world needs right now.
Two Icelandic musicians played by Will Ferrell and Rachel McAdams get the “once-in-a-lifetime chance” (not if you’re Johnny Logan) to represent their country in the Eurovision.
Pierce Brosnan plays Will’s father who is “the most handsome man in Iceland”.
Will co-wrote the film and it’s being directed by the man behind Wedding Crashers.
Fan fact: Iceland has never won Eurovision. Until now...
