Sleb Safari: Vogue Williams and Spencer Matthews get engaged thanks to the greatest story ever told
SPENCER Matthews, of Made in Chelsea infamy, is engaged to Vogue Williams after proposing on a West End theatre stage.
The couple met last year during series four of The Jump, which for a time was Sleb Safari’s favourite reality TV show until it became a stream of innuendos Benny Hill would have been proud of interspersed with the occasional ski jump.
Series five should be on the telly around about now but we’re having to make do with the Winter Olympics. Don’t get Sleb Safari wrong, the athletes seem quite good, but they’re no Mark-Francis Vandelli.
Channel 4 axed the show last year after finally accepting that winter sports + celebrities who’ve had a couple of months of training = injury and massive insurance premiums.
The show clocked up an impressive injury list in its four-year run, with 34 of the 60 competitors hurting themselves.
Among them were Olympic gymnast Beth Tweddle who broke two vertebrae, Olympic swimmer Rebecca Adlington who dislocated her shoulder, Olympic cyclist Bradley
Wiggins who broke a leg and Sarah Harding from Girls Aloud who ruptured a ligament.
Vogue Williams, DJ, model and ex-wife of Brian McFadden, joined that illustrious list last year while Spencer won the show.
Their first trip away as a couple was to Disneyland Paris and he popped the question after they’d been to see Disney’s The Lion King in the West End.
Spencer’s people released a statement afterwards because that is what one’s team does when one becomes affianced.
"I’ve known Vogue was the one for a long time. We're very happy and in love. She's my best friend and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with her.
"The engagement had to be special, and as our first trip away together was to Disneyland Paris, it felt like the perfect fit."
Imagine Vogue and Spencer had gone to Liverpool for their first mini-break and he’d taken her to see Blood Brothers in honour of that trip. How different things would be. There’s no way you could propose after sitting through the great, but tragic, Blood Brothers. Or at least you couldn’t propose marriage, just a stiff drink. Should they have gone to New York Spencer would have had to drag Vogue to an am-dram production of West Side Story in a village church hall and then propose in front of the mayor while the middle aged men in the audience muttered “Who are they?”
Spencer concluded his statement: "The Lion King is also one of the greatest stories of all time, so I figured that having just had a romantic evening watching it, she'd probably say yes."
Spencer’s right, The Lion King is cracker, but “one of the greatest stories of all time” might be a teeny tiny bit of a stretch for a tale of singing lions and a flatulent warthog but, hakuna matata.
Sleb Safari will let him away with it because he’s a man in love and it wishes the couple very many happy years of trips to Disneyland Paris.
Are you having Derry Girls withdrawal symptoms? Did you plonk yourself down on the sofa at 10pm last Thursday and promptly burst into tears because for a brief moment you’d forgotten that the single best thing on telly in a long time is no more?
That makes several million of us then. At present there is no cure, you simply have to manage the symptoms. Keep in mind though that come next year Michelle, Erin, Clare, Orla, James and most importantly, Sr Michael, will be back in Technicolor splendour. Stay strong.
Cheryl has a hair dye named in her honour
Cheryl, Cheryl, Cheryl. What are we to do? Because you’re worth it Sleb Safari feels outrage on your behalf. Cheryl is an ambassador (or whatever the term is now for ‘paid to promote’) for L’Oreal and appears in a range of adverts from make up to hair dye.
According to L’Oreal she loves Casting Crème Gloss shade 500 so much that the company has renamed it in her honour. Henceforth it shall be known as Cheryl’s Brown.
Shakespeare wept. Cheryl’s Chestnut, they could have given her that. Cheryl’s Chocolate would have worked too. But Cheryl’s Brown? Really? Does someone at L’Oreal not like her?