EVERY day is a school day for Sleb Safari. Just the other day it learnt that you should never tumble dry skinny jeans because when the time comes to wrestle them on they'll reach your knees and burst out laughing.
Sleb Safari's love of learning stretches to a good Q&A or a ‘What I’ve learnt’ or a ‘This much I know’ interview.
This results in Sleb Safari knowing all manner of weird and wonderful things about celebrities but not much about important things like Brexit or North Korea’s state-sponsored hackers.
Sleb Safari read a great Q&A in The Guardian with BBC Radio 1 breakfast show host Nick Grimshaw and if there were Cliffs Notes they would read thus: Nick ‘Grimmie’ Grimshaw, 32, DJ, presenter, friend of Ronnie Wood, once worked in a job where talking and listening to the radio was forbidden, under the control of Ronald McDonald.
Grimmie confessed that Ronald McDonald is "the living person he most despised" because "when I see his face, I can’t not have a McDonald’s”. Have you tried hypnotherapy Nick?
The junk food theme continued. Faced with the dilemma of bringing something extinct back to life Nick said he'd risk the wrath of Jamie Oliver and turn the Turkey Twizzlers production line back on again.
Food cropped up again in the ‘what would be your super power’ question.
“That if I ate Snickers, they’d give me a six-pack,” he answered which is fair enough, all things considered. Being invisible and listening to people gripe about you is more of a super pain than a super power.
Then the Q&A turned to possessions and we learned that the most expensive thing Grimmie has ever bought was a £13,000 table that used to belong to David Bowie. Mate, should have gone to Ikea and you could have got one for a fraction of the price.
Sleb Safari’s absolute favourite bit was when the Guardian asked him to tell a joke and he mentioned his friend Ronnie Wood. And that’s not even the interesting part of the story.
A cabbie called Brian texts Ronnie Wood with a joke every day and Ronnie forwards them on to Nick and that day’s was: “I was just looking at my ceiling. Not sure if it’s the best ceiling in the world, but it’s definitely up there”.
Isn’t that brilliant? Everyone should have a cabbie in their life who cheers them up with a text.
Finished with that Q&A Sleb Safari moved to The Times' website to make full use of its subscription and clicked on a 'What I’ve learnt' with Holly Hunter and found this out:
“Julia Roberts is a very cool woman. I wanted to buy her apartment in New York, but there was no way I could make the asking price. She sold it to me anyway. It was a true act of generosity that I will never forget.”
Sleb Safari is minded to see if Chrissy Teigen and John Legend will sell their LA property for waaaaaaaay below the $2.5 million asking price.
It would be a true act of generosity that Sleb Safari would never forget and if ever asked in a Q&A which living person it most admires it would give them equal billing. Now you simply cannot say fairer than that.
Alice Cooper finds an Andy Warhol print he had forgotten about
WHAT do you know, Alice Cooper has found an Andy Warhol print worth millions in a storage locker.
The cheerfully named Little Electric Chair silkscreen print was rolled up in a tube and stored along with props and items from Cooper’s tours in the early 1970s.
His manager Shep Gordon intimated that Cooper’s extra-curricular activities could have led to him forgetting he had ever been gifted the artwork.
“Alice says he remembers having a conversation with Warhol about the picture. He thinks the conversation was real, but he couldn’t put his hand on a Bible and say that it was.”
Sleb Safari has long envied people who find items of value that they didn’t even know they’d lost.
Every autumn when it pulls its winter coats from the back of the wardrobe it checks every pocket in the hope of finding a £20 note, the £750,000 diamond ring which the British Museum recently revealed it lost in 2011 or even half a Pringle. But nought, nil, nada, nothing.
Alice Cooper on the other hand, he turns up an Andy Warhol without even trying. Some people have all the luck.
Leonardo DiCaprio, environmentalist, frequent flier, hero
HATS off to Leonardo DiCaprio who is, reportedly, going to fly on a commercial flight to St Tropez to attend his foundation’s annual fundraising gala.
The foundation is “dedicated to the long-term health and wellbeing of all Earth’s inhabitants” and last year the event raised somewhere in the region of $45m for environmental causes.
Who can say what state Leo will arrive in this year since he’s having to slum it in first class.
Those polar bears better appreciate his sacrifice.
Social Media Smut
Gangs back together. Now we're saving icebergs. Go figure..
— Billy Zane (@BillyZane) July 26, 2017
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