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Meat Loaf's Christmas album needs to feature Phil Collins and Paul McCartney

Meatloaf wants to make an album of Christmas duets. Do it Meat, do it for the fans

TODAY, Sleb Safari would like to share with you an anecdote from two titans of the music industry, Mr Meat Loaf and Mr Phil Collins. What do they have in common Sleb Safari hears you ask. Why, their genius of course.

Let’s start with Mr Loaf, first name Meat. He’s a flamboyant, theatrical type who throws himself into his performance and can sing the lyric 'I would do anything for love (but I won’t do that)' without so much as a smidgen of embarrassment.

For a while now Meat Loaf has been playing the ‘farewell tour’ card but he’s told The Guardian that his most recent tour is likely to be his last and that he will stop making music – with one exception.

“The only thing I’ll do is a Christmas record, of duets,” he said.

Sleb Safari is curious. Who will Meat Loaf duet with? Frank Ocean? Cheryl Cole? Barbara Streisand?

Still, interesting and all as his album is likely to be it’s unlikely to usurp Sleb Safari’s all-time favourite Christmas album of duets which is the cassette version of John Denver and the Muppets: A Christmas Together. The entire thing’s on YouTube. Do yourself a favour.

Sleb Safari has loved it for three decades and a love like that can’t be broken. Certainly not by a meatloaf.

Meat’s Christmas album promise isn’t even the highlight of the interview. That came when he was talking about long-term collaborator Jim Steinman and the “castle room” that he built at his Cape Cod home.

It comes with a “walk-in fireplace” apparently. Nope, Sleb Safari has no clue either. The castle room is “bigger than the house” according to Meat Loaf which again is most confusing.

Best of all, he describes how Jim “built a walkway for his cats out to the garage, because Jim doesn’t drive or own a car. So the garage is a cat playroom and the cats pop in to see him through this heated tunnel.”

It all makes sense now. Of course a tunnel running from the fireplace to the garage would be heated…

And so to Phil Collins and a slight from Paul McCartney that dates from 2002.

Phil told The Sunday Times that the Beatle had been (note the past tense) one of his heroes.

Phil sets the scene: “…he has this thing when he’s talking to you, where he makes you feel... ‘I know this must be hard for you, because I’m a Beatle. I’m Paul McCartney and it must be very hard for you to actually be holding a conversation with me’.” Uh oh.

“I met him when I was working at the Buckingham Palace party at the palace thing back in 2002. McCartney came up with Heather Mills and I had a first edition of The Beatles by Hunter Davies and I said, ‘Hey Paul, do you mind signing this for me?’ And he said, ‘Oh Heather, our little Phil’s a bit of a Beatles fan’.”

At which point in the interview Phil swore. Sleb Safari can only take Phil at face value, but seriously, it cannot bear for Phil and Paul to be at odds.

You know what would make the whole thing better? For Meat Loaf to write a Christmas song for Phil and Paul. Honestly, with these insights Sleb Safari cannot understand why it has yet to be headhunted by the UN’s peacekeeping department.

 

Competition - Cathy Kelly's new book up for grabs

Sleb Safari has five copies of Cathy Kelly's new novel Secrets of a Happy Marriage to give away.

The novel is out in hardback and ebook and will introduce you to the Brannigans who have gathered to celebrate a birthday. Not just any birthday but a ‘special’ birthday (which everyone knows is code for call the fire brigade, someone’s going to need help blowing out those candles).

To be in with a chance to win a copy answer the following correctly:

What was Cathy’s first novel called?

Email your answer to competitions@irishnews.com and mark it Sleb Safari/Cathy Kelly competition. Please include your contact details. The deadline is noon on Wednesday October 26. Usual terms and conditions apply.

 

Melanie C puts Madonna in a corner

Melanie C, nee Sporty Spice, has been remembering her most cringe worthy moment.

Madonna: The wallflower

Picture it: Los Angeles. 1999. Mel is hobnobbing at a party with muso types and decides it’s time to leave.

Her friend had said she could borrow his car and so Mel lent over the person sitting next to him and asked: “Can I get the keys?”.

Over to you Mel: “He pulled this funny face; the person sitting next to him was Madonna. I said ‘Oh, sorry, I didn’t see you there.’

“She came back with ‘Well, I am somewhat of a wallflower’.”

Sleb Safari loves this tableau and high fives Madonna for her sass. Melanie C, you should wear the badge with pride, not embarrassment. Madonna probably tells this story and has a right old laugh about it. You should too.

 

Social Media Smut

 

Cuz that's my middle name, & my daddy named me after his sister. ??So I named this album #JOANNE

A photo posted by Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) on

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