Unforgettable Radio 4
The Truth About Children who Lie Radio 4
A conversation from beyond the grave has a strange, eerie feeling to it. But this one was tender and funny too.
David Temple is the brother-in-law of film director, artist and gardener, Derek Jarman who died 22 years ago. Temple married Jarman’s sister, Gaye.
In a strange but compelling programme, Temple talked to Jarman who “spoke back” in old interview footage from the archives.
They lived in very different worlds, said Temple. But Jarman lifted everyone around him. He was an artist and he loved his gardening – he wanted to create.
“You would be amused to know that buses pull up outside your cottage and these blue rinsed ladies pile out to admire your creation,” said Temple.
Jarman talked about his battle with his father, who tried to force feed him as a child.
As an old man, his father became a kleptomaniac and Temple shared a story of how they used to check his car after he visited.
Once, he opened the boot and was surprised to find the Temple lawnmower hidden inside.
There was conversation about Jarman’s homosexuality and his openness about his Aids. And there was a tender moment when Temple told him about his sister – Temple’s wife’s death from cancer.
She was like Jarman, he said. Both of them had resilience and she, in the face of cancer, just like he in the face of Aids, was not prepared to lead a provisional existence.
“Your sister did not give up living. She was an inspiration. You would have been very proud of her,” he said.
Words that could never be spoken were given a life and lit a spark – somehow this worked.
Telling lies is dangerous – just think of Matilda who told dreadful ones and burned to death.
Ian Leslie is an author who believes that a child’s first lie is a cause for celebration. Wow, fantastic, a new superpower!
Neuroscientist Sam Harris hates even little white lies and he tells his children the truth about everything... even Christmas.
There was a lot of psychology ... but rest assured the dog eating your homework is the least of the lies. The message was we don’t stop lying when we become adults... we just get better at it.
