Go mbeannaí Dia daoibh, a chairde, hello my friends and welcome to the Bluffer’s Guide to Irish whether you are a poblachtánach - a republican or a monarcaí - a monarchist.
Sadly, the Bluffer missed an corónú - the coronation on Saturday as he was on a crús ólacháin ar an Mheánmhuir - a booze cruise on a Mediterranean catamaran, singing Euro-hits like John Redwood famously miming the Welsh national anthem while holding a beer in one hand and a burger in the other.
Not a lot of pomp and circumstance, but no doubt An Rí Séarlas III was having as good a time as the Bluffer as he was finally crowned as King Charles III.
The Daily Mail described it thus: The King turned to face his Queen ... “Oh my goodness, it’s wonderful,” he beamed, similar to what the Bluffer muttered when Abba’s Gimme, Gimme, Gimme a Man after Midnight blasted on deck.
An mhonarcacht is the monarchy while an teaghlach ríoga is the royal family which contains around 40 people.
This will consist of a rí - a king, a banríon - a queen, a prionsa or two and maybe a banphrionsa - a princess and further titled people.
They were all at Westminster Abbey where the fairy tale bumped into between £100m and £250m of airgead na gcáiníocóirí - taxpayer money as Charles – a man with an estimated personal wealth of £1.8 billion – took on his new job title.
The ceremony was solemn or weird depending on your point of view.
With the Abbey lán go béal - chocabloc, na mílte ar na sráideanna - thousands of people out on the streets and millions watching on TV, it seemed strange that “the most sacred part of the ceremony” was carried out behind a specially made screen.
Cuireadh ola air - he was anointed with oil made from olives harvested in Jerusalem.
Charles was dressed in an fhallaing ríoga - the Royal Robe - a fetching gold silk affair that the Mail informs us is based on “priestly robes worm at royal ceremonies dating back to Byzantine times.”
There was a cruinneog - an orb, claimhte - swords, a stoil - stole, fáinní - rings and all kinds of royal bling and the whole nation stood still while the mórthaibhseacht - pageantry unfolded before their disbelieving eyes.
As Sarah Vine, former wife of Tory minister Michael Gove, wrote, the coronation showed “Britain at its most optimistic and spectacular” which the Bluffer thinks is a tad stupid as local elections a few days prior to the Royal Command Performance in reverse, were showing that people were more interested in getting rid of the Tories because of the ravaging of many people’s lives.
Still, many people are still in thrall to a monarchy which gives them a sense of nationhood, a bright shining symbol of what Britain was and could be again.
However, there is a little doubt about Charles amongst certain people.
Has he “gone native”, after a damhsa Gaelach - an Irish dance or hitting a sliotar with a camán and drinking a pint of Guinness?
Time will tell what kind of a king Charles III really is.
poblachtánach (publaktaanach) - a republican
monarcaí (monarkee) - a monarchist
an corónú (un coronoo) - the coronation
crús ólacháin ar an Mheánmhuir (croos awlakhaan er un vanwer) - a booze cruise
An Rí Séarlas III (un ree shayrlass a chree) - King Charles III
An mhonarcacht (un wonarcakht) - the monarchy
an teaghlach ríoga (un chaowlakh reeoga) - the royal family
rí (ree) - a king
banríon (bareen) - a queen
prionsa (prinsa) - a prince
banphrionsa (banfrinsa) - a princess
airgead na gcáiníocóirí (aragid na gaaneeckoree) - taxpayer money
lán go béal (laan gaw bayl) - chocabloc
na mílte ar na sráideanna (ne meeltcha er na sraadge-ana) - thousands of people out on the streets
cuireadh ola air (keroo ola er) - he was anointed
an fhallaing ríoga (an alaang reeoga) - the Royal Robe
cruinneog (crinyawg) - an orb
claimhte (claavcha) - swords
stoil (stil) - stole
fáinní (faanyee) - rings
mórthaibhseacht (more-hiveshakht) - pageantry
damhsa Gaelach (daowsa gaylakh) - an Irish dance