TIMES are tight – but is it time for tights? Even with the icy weather, Tom Stewart isn't sure about such a kit choice, as a relative newbie on the Ulster rugby side.
"For me, unfortunately not – the first hooker to wear tights wouldn't be a great string to my bow coming onto the scene now!"
Calm down at the back.
That exchange brought some much-needed levity to an Ulster camp that was understandably down after two devastating defeats. First, the second half collapse away to Leinster in the URC.
Then, even worse, hammered 39-0 at Sale in their European Champions Cup opener.
There were mitigating circumstances, with serious travel disruption to Manchester limiting preparation time, but Ulster still accept that the performance was unacceptable.
Next up, weather permitting, are reigning European champions La Rochelle – a chilling prospect after they destroyed Northampton Saints last weekend.
Asked what Ulster could do to ready themselves for playing in near-freezing conditions, Stewart quipped: "Get yourself warmer", before adding:
"Things change and it's adapting to the referees, adapting to the conditions, adapting to opposition. It's all very different on the night if you have freezing conditions on Friday or Saturday, the games can be different - it's kind of what's on the night, we have to play that."
A wet, wild, and windy night might suit Ulster, at least in terms of putting off the travelling French side, but Stewart insisted they feel they can take on Ronan O'Gara's side whatever the weather:
"We're trying to play our game and our game is playing rugby, seeing what's in front of us and attacking that. Whatever weather conditions come on we'll look to play our game and we'll look to take that forward."
Last Sunday's thumping at the AJ Bell Stadium in Salford overshadowed a first European appearance for the 21-year-old Belfast lad.
However, he focussed on his task: "I think my main thing was just come on and make the biggest impact I possibly could and whether the game was going to change or not I was just trying my best to do my role and my best thing and I backed my team-mates around me that they were trying to do the same thing…
"Things move really quickly and it's hard to adapt to that sometimes but I'm really excited as a young player. I don't know if it's a bit of naivety but you always have a bit more hunger and are a bit more excitable so and I'm really looking forward to this week."
La Rochelle's front five are even bigger than Sale's, but Stewart isn't daunted if called upon to scrum down against them:
"Obviously, they're a massive pack and it's exciting for us as well because we're coming in knowing that we're going to do this together and this is our pack against their pack.
"We're not going to go in individually and take on individuals, we're going to try and do it together, the power of us."
Having come through schools rugby at Ben Madigan then Belfast Royal Academy, Stewart always looked up to fellow BRA alumnus Iain Henderson, who is now his captain at Ulster:
"I think the first time I watched him was when I was at primary school and he was in the Schools' Cup final and they had a good year. Coming up through they would always refer back to 'Hendy' and so it's always been nice watching 'Hendy' and knowing that you had that BRA connection there.
"He's been really good to me coming up through, he's good to everyone coming up through, but it's been nice to have someone who's come from Ben Madigan and BRA as well."
Stewart also anticipates fervent support from the home fans at Ravenhill, despite some vehement criticism following those back-to-back losses:
"We love our fans here and the support here at the Kingspan is special. We're disappointed for the fans and we're obviously annoyed ourselves about the performance but we're just hoping that we can rally round that and they can rally round that this weekend and bring a big, supportive crowd to the Kingspan on Saturday."
Given his central role, it's fitting that Stewart is mostly looking forward, rather than looking back on those disappointing displays by Ulster:
"Everyone deals with it differently. I think the best process for me personally is … obviously it's going to be in there, it's going to be done now, the game's over.
"I think we have to park it but obviously use it as well as fuel going into this week and take a bit of hurt from it - but it's mostly been parked…
"I'm trying not to worry too much about my first European game at home, it's another game at the end of the day, another week where I can get better during the week, and I can play against more experienced players. Every opportunity is a learning opportunity for me."
Another step on the ladder.
