So, what first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?
Almost three decades on, that line delivered by the Mrs Merton character created and played by Caroline Aherne to Debbie McGee still gets a knowing belly laugh.
The joke was that the famous magician's much younger assistant was only with him for his money.
The power of wealth and status will probably never be removed from society – nor from sport.
A less sneery question, much easier to answer, would be asking Tottenham Hotspur: 'What attracted you to Celtic manager Ange Postecoglou?'
It's understandable that Celtic supporters will be distraught at the prospect of losing their Australian (Greek-born) boss. In an attempt to prevent that some might deride Spurs, perhaps even question Postecoglou's motivation, although the majority will still revere and respect him.
Certain Celts may also point to the fate of Brendan Rodgers at Leicester City, 'mutually consented' in April – yet he won the FA Cup, twice took the Foxes to a fifth place finish, competed regularly in Europe, and is currently sitting on a very hefty bank balance.
The honest among us would admit that we'd all change jobs if we were being paid significantly more money.
That may be part of the lure for Postecoglou, but he'll also want to show what he can do on a bigger stage – again.
The 57-year-old admitted: 'Without sounding arrogant, I've never doubted myself or wavered in my own self-belief.'
Still, there were loud echoes of 'Arsene who?' when the Australian conducted his first media conference at Celtic. A question about him making a 'jump' received the rejoinder that he had managed at a World Cup, with Australia in 2014. The Socceroos performed creditably in a very tough group alongside the Netherlands, Spain, and Chile.
The European snobbery, the rush to judgment continued. Shortly into AP's tenure, veteran Daily Record writer Hugh Keevins declared: 'We now know what the Ange in Ange Postecoglou stands for. Absolutely. Not. Good. Enough.'
The critics soon learned the error of their ways.
Postecoglou will leave Celtic having won five of the six domestic trophies available to him. He's just completed a treble; denied a shot at that last year by losing a Scottish Cup semi-final after extra time to arch-rivals Rangers.
Plenty of observers may roll their eyes, assume that such success is almost a given.
It's not, far from it.
Ironically, last week I got round to starting to read a book about Postecoglou's first season at Celtic Park, entitled 'Never Stop', which came out earlier this year on the brilliant Pitch Publishing imprint.
The subtitle is 'How Ange Postecoglou brought the fire back to Celtic'.
He's done that in style - but the flames can quickly be extinguished.
Written by Celtic fan Hamish Carton, who runs the '67 Hail Hail' YouTube channel, this comprehensive survey of Postecoglou's first season-and-a-bit begins by recalling what a state Celtic were in when he took over.
Celtic had seemed set for an unprecedented 10-in-a-row of Scottish titles under Neil Lennon, but the season went spectacularly awry. The Lurgan man resigned on February 24, 2021, and Celtic eventually finished fully 25 points behind Steven Gerrard's Rangers.
This Saturday would have marked the second anniversary of Postecoglou being named as Celtic boss, but few would have foreseen how well he has done there, from very difficult beginnings.
Postecoglou himself had to be quarantined on arrival from Japan and it was clear that the team required radical surgery.
Long-serving, inspirational skipper Scott Brown had left the club, with Callum McGregor taking over the captain's armband. When Celtic won at Brown's new home, Aberdeen's Pittodrie, on October 3 2021, it was – astonishingly – their first away win in the league for eight months.
Successful management is largely about recruitment and development. Postecoglou didn't have time to do much of the latter at first, with a Champions League qualifier (which they lost, to Denmark's FC Midtjylland), and then further European ties, to play.
However, most of the players he brought in, for less than £50m IN TOTAL, remain key men at the club: Liel Abada, Carl Starfelt, Kyogo Furuhashi, Cameron Carter-Vickers, Jota, Joe Hart; then, in January last year, Reo Hatate, Daizen Maeda, Matt O'Riley. He added further bargains for the campaign just completed: Alistair Johnston, Aaron Mooy, Sead Haksabanovic, Oh Hyeon-gyu.
Josip Juranovic and Girogos Giakoumakis were sold on, for profits; indeed the NET expenditure under Ange was under £5m. Incredible. He also revived the careers of full backs Anthony Ralston and Greg Taylor.
Spurs chairman Daniel Levy will be rubbing his hands at Postecoglou's eye for value in the market.
The manager himself will look forward to having serious money to spend.
Celtic is a great club, one which tends to play attractive football, a standard that Postecoglou has absolutely adhered to.
But Celtic is also a big fish in a small pool.
Postecoglou has proved his quality – again – as a manager.
He has elevated Celtic, bringing them back into the Champions League, but the financial realities of modern football severely limit their ambitions.
Spurs are 21st on Uefa's club co-efficient rankings, while Celtic are 57th. Behind seven English clubs, including four who have never won the European Cup/ Champions League (Manchester City are likely to change that stat this weekend, but Arsenal, Spurs, and West Ham won't).
The magnificent Tottenham Hotspur Stadium won't host European football next season, but Ange Postecoglou will bring it back - or die trying. He could even help Harry Kane get the club winner's medal his talents merit.
Hamish Carton, in his very readable, in-depth assessment, notes: 'Ange Postecoglou demands three things from those around him at a football club: high standards, hard work and continual improvement. If you show a thirst for all three, he'll back you to the hilt, even when times are hard.'
Past players interviewed in the book recalled the power of his prepared team talks, delivered by an awesome communicator.
Yet they also remember the 'death seat', next to Ange on a long plane journey – when he never spoke. He loves and respects his players, but keeps an emotional distance.
Ryan McGowan, who played for Australia, states: 'He respected everyone but it was a case of having to do what was asked of you. If you didn't, he'd get someone else to do it instead.'
Celtic fans should not despair, however.
It's worth remembering that, while being far from perfect, the Celtic board have a fairly good idea about managerial appointments, especially this century.
Martin O'Neill, Gordon Strachan, Brendan Rodgers, and Neil Lennon all did very well. Tony Mowbray and Ronny Deila are good bosses, even if they weren't resounding successes for Celtic.
The man Celtic wanted to replace Lennon was Eddie Howe, who has gone on to take Newcastle United back into the Champions League after a 20-year absence.
Since the legendary Jock Stein ended another long-serving spell in 1978, following on from Willie Maley (nearly 43 years) and Jimmy McGrory (20 years), Celtic bosses have averaged only two-and-a-half years in charge, not counting caretakers.
Postecoglou may not reach that mark, but he's written his name into Celtic's pantheon of heroes.
Carton's book clearly needs updating, or perhaps a second volume is actually required, to detail the achievements of the treble season just past.
Postecoglou fully merits such a glowing record of his time at Celtic Park – Spurs fans should purchase this account and look forward to next season with optimism.
