MARK Sidebottom is a man worth waiting for.
Despite the delay in the coverage of yesterday’s Ulster SFC mismatch between Derry and Donegal, Sidebottom’s questioning of Mark McHugh and Oisín McConville had all the pointed urgency of a live broadcast.
“Martin: Murphy, McHugh, McBrearty, that axis, when it ticks, Donegal tick,” the BBC’s man in the middle punched out in speedy typewriter staccato fashion, demanding prompt analysis from wee Martin. No messing around. No meandering questions to lose the viewer in. Point one, point two, then back to the Sunday evening staple of Antiques Roadshow, Songs of Praise, School Around The Corner, except… is Sunday evening television even a thing anymore?
Anyway, I’m losing myself in one of those tangents that Mark is so adept at avoiding. Take this one lobbed at Oisín McConville, for example: “Cian Mulligan, off the bench and finds the net again, big asset...”
He even added a sandpapered, gravelly whisper to the ‘big asset’ for effect. Pure class. I swear I could see the dust emerging between his lips from the friction in his throat. Oisín could only laugh in astonished admiration at this man at the height of his powers, boring forensically into the succinct beating heart of Gaelic football’s Championship matter.
“Yeah, it’s a big asset,” giggled McConville, perhaps finding it superfluous to add other words. Non-succinct, non-Sidebottomesque words. Gratuities. Wastes of breath. I could only but agree. In fairness, Oisín did say other stuff, but I’d stopped listening. I was busy with a wire brush down my throat trying to perfect that gravelly quality for when I phoned the Sunday evening takeaway.
“Fried rice, chicken curry, prawn crackers.” Not a word wasted; punched out with breath-taking efficiency, putting a heavy smoker’s whisper over the ‘prawn’ and ‘crackers’. I swear the fella on the other end of the phone even giggled in admiration.
I’m still waiting on the order, though.
Over on RTÉ, Henry Shefflin didn’t smear any gloss over Kilkenny’s Championship prospects after they were given a lesson by Galway in Salthill.
“There wasn’t too much hype about Kilkenny and we’ve seen today that they are well back in the pack. We’ve seen that they are going to struggle for the rest of the year,” the 10-time All-Ireland winner mused.
As Ger Loughnane spread the praise around, leaving a bit for most of Galway’s panel, Cyril Farrell was content to quietly assent and talk about the bigger picture.
This wasn’t lost on Shefflin: “Isn’t it a sign of the times, though?” he asked.
“The last time Galway beat Kilkenny in the Leinster Championship, you were leaping around the studio saying ‘this is absolutely brilliant’. You’ve just won by nine points and everyone is talking about ‘well, look, we’ll move onto next week’. I think that’s the level Galway are at now.
“They are the top team now and everyone else has to try to chase them down.”
These are words which must have stuck in the Kilkenny legend’s craw. He needs to learn a thing or two about cutting out the chaff: Galway ticking, Kilkenny lose. Enough said.
