LOCKDOWN has been partly about unpicking puzzles, dealing with mental challenges to keep our minds as healthy as our newly buff bodies. Coughs (into tissue).
The ‘county team with only one player from any club’ was a good one, even if Cavan had pre-empted us all by actually fielding such selections a couple of seasons ago.
A trickier soccer variant poses the problem of picking the best XI – but all players must be different nationalities and not have played with anyone else in the team at club level.
That wouldn’t be testing in the GAA (unless you take into account USA jaunts) so I’ve contrived what I’m calling the ‘Ulster Plus’ selection – one player from each of the nine northern counties and two each from the other three provinces (still with only one from any county).
It could have been ‘Ulster then a bonus wee six’ but we’re all for inclusivity here.
Among my other parameters/ arbitrary rules is the timeframe, from the late Nineties onwards when I came to The Irish News as a child reporter.
The longer your time-span the more choice you have – but whether that makes your selection easier or tougher is a moot point.
It should be a proper team as well, not like one of those unbalanced soccer selections comprising seven or eight attackers and two or three defenders who were better going forward than stopping opponents.
In these trying times my team is packed with versatility, prepared for all eventualities.
Imagine if injury or illness (or an opponent) strikes my first choice goalkeeper, for example? No problem, I have an outfield player with Championship goalkeeping experience
Indeed the man in question can play almost anywhere, and has done so. The keeper himself can push outfield and mark the full forward if required.
In the unlikely event that this team would need a goal or two to win a game late on there are a host of players who can go up to the attacking ‘square’ – starting with my fabulous full-back.
Among the other counties to pick from, the obvious ones include Dublin, Kerry, and Mayo. Going back a bit, Cork, Galway, and Meath come into my consideration too, although of course you may have excellent contenders from elsewhere.
One aspect that stands out for me is how many of my team would be recognisable by just one name, despite the many family connections in the GAA.
In fact, I might start training after this virus crisis is over (and after I get my right knee fixed, lose a stone, and shed 25 years…), and before that lad Ciaran Archer from Dublin establishes himself…
‘Ulster Plus’, Mark One:
1 Stephen Cluxton (Dublin)
A strong start. One of the most influential players ever, renowned for his kicking ability, both in terms of kick-outs and placed balls, but also an excellent shot-stopper. A leader too.
2 Lee Keegan (Mayo)
A tremendously versatile player. The sort of man-marker who applies indelible ink to opponents but also able to surge up the field and take and make scores.
3 Barry Owens (Fermanagh)
A two-time Allstar. From the Erne County. Need I say any more? OK, scored a famous goal at full-forward months after undergoing heart surgery. Also an astonishingly clean full-back, rarely giving away needless frees.
4 Darren Fay (Meath)
From the olden days when they sang ‘You’ll never beat the Royals’, the classy Fay was a key element in that. Another full-back, sure, but the opposition will never play more than two up against this team.
5 Tomas O Se (Kerry)
I wanted to include the thoroughbred Seamus Moynihan but decided there had to be an O Se in here. My heart said Darragh, my head said Marc for his height in defence, but Tomas was outstanding – and even his temperament issues late in his career endear him to this manager.
6 Graham Canty (Cork)
In my traditionalist outlook, your centre half-back should look like he’s carved out of granite, the physical embodiment of ‘No pasaran’. Canty could also canter up the field.
7 James Loughrey (Antrim)
Arguably the second Rebel County player in this selection but the GAA’s about where you’re from and the adaptable Antrim man is an excellent all-round defender, good at going forward too.
8 Dermot McCabe (Cavan)
A bull of a man, brilliant in the air, one of those able to go up to full-forward if need be. His lethal left foot took plenty of scores from distance too.
9 Darren Hughes (Monaghan)
Mr Versatile. My back-up goalkeeper, but genuinely capable of doing a good job in almost any role, including defensively or further forward. The same could be said about his fellow county men Dessie Mone and Vinny Corey.
10 Enda Muldoon (Derry)
Just to squeeze another Tyrone selection in there. Winks. Grins.
Big Enda can drift around anywhere from midfield up, launching languid laser-like deliveries or going up there and plucking balls from the sky himself.
11 Michael Donnellan (Galway)
A player whose style would still shine in the modern era, full of running but combined with composure on the ball at all times.
12 Oisin McConville (Armagh)
The game is about outscoring your opponents and Oisin absolutely guarantees scores, whether from frees or open play. Ice cool under pressure.
13 Peter Canavan (Tyrone)
Never mind known by one name – whether that be ‘Peter’ or ‘Canavan’ – he was so good that he earned two nicknames: ‘God’ and ‘Peter the Great’. For all Tyrone’s talents in this century, you have to have this man in your team.
14 Michael Murphy (Donegal)
The same goes for the Glenswilly giant. An absolute all-rounder, who plays a variety of positions in every game. A leader of men and a phenomenal footballer.
15 Benny Coulter (Down)
A teenage sensation, the Mayobridge man was one of those who lifted bums off seats whenever he got the ball – often after winning it with a high catch. Quick, direct, a joy to watch.
‘Ulster Plus plus’ - an alternative selection:
1 Mickey McVeigh (Down)
2 Colm Boyle (Mayo)
3 Philly McMahon (Dublin)
4 Kevin O’Boyle (Antrim)
5 Karl Lacey (Donegal)
6 Kieran McGeeney (Armagh)
7 Declan Meehan (Galway)
8 Marty McGrath (Fermanagh)
9 Sean Cavanagh (Tyrone)
10 Cian Mackey (Cavan)
11 Trevor Giles (Meath)
12 Colm O’Neill (Cork)
13 Colm Cooper (Kerry)
14 Paddy Bradley (Derry)
15 Conor McManus (Monaghan)
Of course you can do better: still no Dublin forward (nor Brian Fenton), no Padraic Joyce, no one from outside Cork, Dublin, Kerry, Galway, Mayo, or Meath. No Stevie McDonnell, no Jason Reilly, no 'wee James'...
