NEARLY there. There's one week left of what always feels like the longest month of the year.
We are only three weeks in to 2022 and I am already exhausted. The last 10 days have proven more than ever that it is exhausting to be a woman - and I'm not talking about the daily juggle of work/life balance.
I am tired of feeling afraid, then angry that I am afraid of the actions and behaviour of men. I am tired of women feeling and being unsafe in their own homes.
I am tired of coercive control, of victim shaming. I am tired of banter, of being told to lighten up or that I can't take a joke. I am tired of male privilege.
I am tired of having second thoughts about going for a walk or a run because it's too dark and unsafe. Unsafe from what?
When I do go out, I am tired of zig-zagging the roads, making sure to tie my hair up, having my phone fully charged, being told not to wear earphones - just in case. Just in case of what?
I am tired of projecting my fears of being attacked on to the younger women in my life, of having conversations with them about drink spiking, or young women telling me about the latest nail varnish which can detect whether or not your drink has been spiked. Another way of protecting themselves - against what?
I am tired of cans of mace, panic buttons, self defence classes, group exercise being offered as solutions to the systemic, societal problem of misogyny.
I am tired of lighting candles in memory of women who have been murdered by men for no reason other than because they were women. I am tired of hoping that things will change.
I have never experienced anything like the reaction to the murder of Ashling Murphy but will the groundswell of calls for an end to violence against women ever amount to anything?
What about the other women who have lost their lives violently for no reason other than that they were women? Will the collective grief expressed through conversations, social media and attendance at vigils amount to nothing more than a reaction to another news cycle?
I want to believe that the social media outrage meant something and will translate into some kind of real, tangible change, but being tired reinforces the negative and hope fades.
We need legislation, a strategy, accountability for actions - who is going to take a lead on that?
When will we no longer be shocked to see female bus drivers, engineers, lorry driver, construction workers, plumbers? Until women are more visible in managerial posts, are involved in making big decisions, until they are in top jobs, in jobs not traditionally associated with women, nothing will change.
Until sex education is taught seriously in schools, nothing will change. Until women can live in their homes free from the threat of coercive control and physical attacks, nothing will change. Until all of us find the strength to call out misogyny if we see it or hear it, nothing will change.
We need to keep talking and not allow the discussion of the last few weeks to become another news cycle. While we wait on any sign of strategic progress, women continue to be abused and treated disrespectfully in domestic, social and professional settings.
Violence against women must end. If you see it or hear it, please do the right thing and call it out.
AS we enter the last week of January, many New Year's resolutions might have fallen by the way side.
I was in awe of Cara Hunter who, despite only having swum 300 metres in total previously, decided to swim a mile a day for 14 consecutive days. Cara raised over £3,000 for her chosen charity, Women's Aid.
Cara's achievement has inspired me to set an achievable goal for this year ahead. For as long as I am injury free, my challenge to myself now in 2022 is to keep running.
Many women contacted me to tell me that they are now scared of going out on their own for a walk or a run. The idea of that freedom being taken away from anyone is horrendous, and wrong.
I knew that my first run after Ashling's death would be a strange one. It felt like an act of defiance, I suppose it was. We have to keep on keeping on.
