Opinion

Mary Kelly: The coronation will be all about the sort of flummery that the Brits excel at

King Charles and the Queen Consort, Camilla, at a garden party at Buckingham Palace this week in celebration of the coronation. Picture by Yui Mok/PA Wire
King Charles and the Queen Consort, Camilla, at a garden party at Buckingham Palace this week in celebration of the coronation. Picture by Yui Mok/PA Wire King Charles and the Queen Consort, Camilla, at a garden party at Buckingham Palace this week in celebration of the coronation. Picture by Yui Mok/PA Wire

Most of us first learn about royalty from fairy stories we’re told as children, where it’s all wise kings, beautiful princesses and charming princes.

In real life, the royals we know most about are a family of rich and fairly under-educated people who live in castles all over the country and earn their keep by turning up at things to shake hands with folk wearing hats and waving flags. It must be a pretty strange existence. But you know, each to their own.

The Windsors are a costly lot though. Keeping them in the manner to which they’re accustomed is said to cost the British taxpayer around £102.4 million a year, which is a lot more than is paid out to their European counterparts – dismissed sneeringly as the “bicycling royals” by the Daily Mail et al.

Comedian Frankie Boyle called them “Britain’s most boring crime syndicate” while my late da always hissed “parasites” every time one of them appeared on TV. But among my mother’s generation, there was a sneaking admiration for the young Queen Elizabeth and her sister Margaret.  “Poor Margaret," as she was known then, because she’d been forced to give up Peter Townsend, the divorced man she’d apparently fallen in love with. How times change, eh?

Now we have the Daily Telegraph gushing that Charles and Camilla are the “greatest love story ever told” – while Diana worshippers believe they’re a pair of adulterers who finally got together after being married inconveniently to other people.

Thus we have the royals as entertaining soap opera – juicy tabloid tales of feuds between brothers, the wives who can’t stand each other and the non-sweating, dodgy uncle who paid off millions to silence a woman who claims they’d had an under-age sexual liaison. It puts Eastenders in the shade.

But weren’t there also moments when the 'soft power' of royal diplomacy mattered– like when the late Queen Elizabeth shook hands with Martin McGuinness and bowed her head at the Garden of Remembrance in Dublin?

It was also on show when the new king laughed and joked with Michelle O’Neill and Alex Maskey, while Sir Jeffrey looked on as if he’d swallowed a wasp.

Maybe it was the memory of that warm encounter that led the two Shinners to accept their invitation to today’s coronation ceremony without feeling they had compromised their republican ideals.

Time was when Colum Eastwood’s acceptance of the invitation would have aroused the same vilification among Sinn Féin supporters as his taking the oath of allegiance along with his Westminster seat.

They know their attendance doesn’t mean they support the institution of monarchy but they know a good PR move when they see one. Even if they also know that it won’t change how unionists feel about them.

Then again, you can imagine the headlines if they’d declined. “Sinn Féin snub king – unionists outraged at insult”.  Twitter exploding in outrage that this is the kind of respect they can expect in a united Ireland. So much for them working for everybody, etc etc.

Today will be all about the sort of flummery that the Brits excel at. So we’ll be treated to the anointing with holy oil from the 'coronation spoon' , followed by the dressing of the monarch in a robe of gold cloth called the supertunica. After this, he’ll get other items of regalia including gold spurs, a jewelled sword, bracelets representing wisdom and sincerity and the sovereign’s sceptre, which will be presented by kids' TV favourite, Floella Benjamin, watched on by Princess Anne, who’s been honoured with the title 'Gold Stick-in-Waiting'. I’m honestly not making this up.

I hope the cameras aren’t too busy keeping an eye on whether Prince Harry is grimacing when Camilla gets her crown, because I’d like to see the republican and nationalist politicians’ expressions when the assembled congregation is invited to swear an oath of allegiance to the crown.

We’re all invited to join in that bit at home too, which is taking audience participation a bit far.

Is there any good reason for a monarchy these days? Can you really justify the veneration of a handful of aristos simply because they’re descended from a bunch of baron-robbers and cut-throats down the ages?

Probably not. But let’s not begrudge royalists their Ruritanian day out – a lot of our neighbours here will be enjoying it too. Maybe we’re not ready to say 'long live the king',  but 'live and let live' is a good bet.