There’s a satisfying symmetry in seeing two disgraced politicians facing the music at last. And while Boris Johnson being politely skewered by the Commons privileges committee is a tad less exciting than the prospect of Trump in a New York court, answering charges that he’d paid hush money to a porn star, it was nonetheless gripping telly.
To prove he knew it was serious, BoJo even had his hair cut, though still mussed at the top, giving him the look of a sheepdog that had escaped before the groomer had finished the job.
His defence essentially boiled down to: “OK, I misled parliament, but I didn’t mean to. It was all Dominic Cummings's fault, and how was I supposed to know that gatherings with snacks and suitcases full of drink constituted a party?”
The clown act didn’t work this time, and he got increasingly tetchy at being grilled by fellow Tories about why he thought it was his duty to attend leaving dos for staff, while asking the population to stay away from the deathbeds of relatives who were facing the ultimate leaving.
It was an unconvincing performance. Whatever the committee decides about his future, Johnson is a busted flush and he knows it.
He will probably find some other way back into the limelight he craves. I hear Rupert Murdoch is looking for a best man.
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There was little surprise that the vote to back the Stormont brake element of the Windsor Framework passed with ease at Westminster, with the ERG rebels, backed by losers Johnson, Liz Truss and Iain Duncan Smith, only mustering 29 votes against with 515 in favour.
Even Sammy’s hysterical pitch that it was a 'Stormont fake' wasn’t enough to persuade MPs. It didn’t cut the mustard, as Ian Og might say. No wonder Jim Shannon lost interest and instead pressed ahead with an Early Day Motion to mark the 50th anniversary of Dolly Parton’s hit I Will Always Love You.
Can the DUP continue with its cunning strategy of saying 'no' out of one side of its mouth while out of the other side its special committee is still weighing up the pros and cons? Can they keep it going until after the May local government elections? Can the unionist electorate really be that stupid? Hmm, let me get back to you on that.
Doug Beattie is taking a gamble that unionist voters will see sense and back his decision to get off the fence. He says the framework still needs adjusting, but it is enough to go back to Stormont and get the government of Northern Ireland back working. Cue cries of “whatabout unionist unity” and “Lundy” from the usual quarters.
Realistic unionists will look at the Westminster vote and reflect on a simple truth. Sunak and co want the whole protocol malarkey behind them so that they can concentrate on convincing British voters to back them again. Look - small boats invading our shores. Look - a pension giveaway to the seriously rich.
Thus Cruella Braverman is dispatched to Rwanda to show everyone what a fabulous place it is. So fabulous that Amnesty International and some 80 other civil, media and human rights organisations have demanded an investigation into the death of a journalist who had exposed abuses by the Rwandan government and had received death threats. Recent figures show some 2,000 Rwandans have sought refuge in the UK in the past two decades because it’s so wonderful there.
Maybe the Home Secretary should shelve the foreign travel and concentrate on the rotten mess that is the Metropolitan Police.
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So wannabe DUP councillor Tyler Hoey deserves a second chance according to the party leader. Sir Jeffrey accepts those sickening tweets about the Greysteel attack and the deaths of 31 migrants in a trailer were “indefensible” but he said Hoey was a young man, and people in their youth make mistakes. He was 26 at the time.
And wasn’t the boul JD among the chorus of unionist politicians who kicked up about the women footballers singing “Up the Ra.” He even demanded that the then Taoiseach, Micheál Martin, use his influence to stop pro-IRA chants. Though God knows how that one could be managed.
Maybe he could use his own influence to question the mentality of a candidate who can joke about sectarian mass murder and the deaths of innocent men, women and children trying to find a better life. Maybe he should ask himself if this is the sort of person your party wants to represent the people of Bannside.
Everybody makes mistakes. Tyler Hoey might just be one for the DUP.
