SOMEONE asked me what my wedding theme was the other day. I replied that there wasn't one. Why on earth would a wedding need a theme? Does a wedding need a theme?
Call me naïve or perhaps cynical, but I think that most of the fuss and pressure around weddings is ludicrous and unnecessary. What is the point in piling all this stress on yourself when all you need for the big day is the company of your nearest and dearest, good food and drink, good music and in the case of the bride, a dress which feels great to wear.
I started the dress hunt recently. Coincidentally, I watched the London wedding episode of Friends the same week - the one where Monica comments that "being a bride is something most women dream about since they were five years old".
Precisely, Monica: 'Most women', not all of us.
I didn't know what to expect when I went dress shopping. I had two people with me and made an effort to relax into it. The gowns I tried on were beautiful, out of this world in fact, and the shop owners had the patience of angels.
I had no pre-conceived ideas of what I wanted, but I know what suits me. So I did try on everything. Thanks to Danielle in White Blossoms and to Kerri in The Vow for all the encouragement.
Even though I know that it's part of the process, I found it difficult to visualise the finished 'look' given that I was clamped into many of the dresses I tried on.
When I tried on a veil for the first time, I shocked myself by getting quite emotional. I had never given a veil any thought at all. In that moment, it really hit me that I am getting married.
I found the dress shopping quite stressful, and had no one but myself to blame for feeling that way. I have hated clothes shopping since I was a teenager. I usually do it on my own, and never treat it as a communal 'experience'.
Standing on that little elevated platform in front of the mirror in the beautiful bridal shops, I felt vulnerable. But then again, I have always thought that a wedding day is one of the most vulnerable in life.
Everyone is there for you and your partner. You are the centre of attention, so inevitably, they will be looking at you.
Surely someone with a public profile would be well used to people looking at them, you might ask? Fair point, but for me, work life and private life are completely different. This is really different.
INEVITABLY the, 'Right, I have a few months, so I'll try to tone up' conversation with myself began as I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Why do we put ourselves under so much pressure to look a certain way for big events, particularly for a wedding?
I've lost count of the number of women I know who have really tried to lose weight for their wedding day. Some lose so much, they don't look anything like themselves on their wedding day.
Any number of people can tell you that weight doesn't matter, but unless you yourself fully subscribe to that and are comfortable in your own skin, I can see how it would be easy to let it all get in on you.
I was contacted the other day by someone who was told that if they didn't lose weight for the wedding, they would never do it. Talk about pressure.
Losing weight is never easy. It's not just women who feel this pressure ahead of the big day.
I haven't bought into the pressure of arranging a wedding yet, and really hope that I don't. I can see how easy it is to get overwhelmed and sucked in to the fantasy and get completely carried away.
Social media is full of images of what is being sold to us as the 'perfect wedding day'. The idea of perfection is subjective, and it will be interesting to see how much strength will be required not to get carried away and maintain focus on what is really important.
To be continued...
