Opinion

Mary Kelly: Keir Starmer might be dull, but he could still save us from Boris Johnson's rabble of yes men and chancers

Labour leader Sir Keir Starmer arrives at Parliament Buildings at Stormont this month. He also has a hill to climb to convince voters he isn't boring. Picture by Stefan Rousseau/PA Wire.
Labour leader Sir Keir Starmer arrives at Parliament Buildings at Stormont this month. He also has a hill to climb to convince voters he isn't boring. Picture by Stefan Rousseau/PA Wire. Labour leader Sir Keir Starmer arrives at Parliament Buildings at Stormont this month. He also has a hill to climb to convince voters he isn't boring. Picture by Stefan Rousseau/PA Wire.

WHEN I was young, it was taken as read that politicians were boring. They usually wore grey suits, and you tried to turn the channel if they came on telly.

When did this change? When were politicians supposed to become chilled out entertainers, instead of dull people who were just expected to, you know, run the country?

Now they're expected to be able to appear on gameshows, do a decent tango on Strictly Come Dancing, or be the sort of bloke you'd want to have a pint with.

And this is maybe why Keir Starmer is currently struggling with his rather, grey image. Sadly not fifty shades of...

The man himself is understandably getting so miffed that he told his shadow cabinet to stop briefing the press that he's boring, telling them it was more boring to be in opposition.

A pollster produced a wordcloud based on a focus group's comments about Starmer, which included 'dull', 'bland', 'uninspiring' and yes, 'boring'. The words used of the Prime Minister were 'liar', 'buffoon', 'incompetent' and 'dishonest', so maybe Sir Keir shouldn't be fretting too much.

Politics used to be described as showbiz for ugly people, but that's no longer true and we are so affected by celebrity culture now that we expect a lot more from those in public life.

Remember Blair and 'Cool Britannia', those carefully orchestrated shots of him playing guitar, heading a football with a premier league player or hobnobbing with the Gallagher brothers in Number 10?

That's partly what was the undoing of Gordon Brown. He couldn't do the easy blokeish smiles of smoothie Blair. But instead of his PR advisers playing up to his strengths as a tortured, Heathcliff-with-brains type, they tried to make him more light-hearted, trying to make us believe his favourite band was really the Arctic Monkeys, when we knew his idea of fun was reading biographies with a pot of tea and some shortbread.

When I produced Hearts and Minds, we had a segment called 'Up Close and Personal', where we asked politicians about their non-political selves.

This is where we were treated to the revelation of Peter Robinson's mammoth collection of ties and his having Koi-carp – one called Elsie – suck his fingers as he fed them, in a slightly unnerving Bond villain way.

Alex Maskey revealed that the liked nothing better than to "lose himself in the Guggenheim" any time he was in Bilbao, when we might've thought he was just giving ceasefire tips to ETA types.

But the most memorable interview was with Sylvia Hermon, who recalled, in chilling detail, coming home from school to find her mother had died suddenly. She described her anger at how a neighbour kept her locked in the kitchen, and spent the time polishing spoons, while the adults in the household dealt with the unfolding tragedy.

Sometimes it is good to see what makes politicians tick. But it has to be authentic and not the work of image advisers or focus groups.

Starmer might be dull, but if he can prove he is competent and has a range of policies that can rescue the country from rule by the worst rabble of yes men and right-wing nutters ever to be in government, then he'll do just fine.

Still wish he was more like RMT boss Mick Lynch, though.

****

IT is disturbing to hear the boss of Manufacturing NI, Stephen Kelly, is receiving death threats over his views on the NI protocol.

It's even more worrying that he said he'd had calls from "MPs and others" telling him he needed to watch himself and be careful of what he was doing or saying.

Mr Kelly is right to say that it would be a failure of civic society in Northern Ireland if issues to do with the protocol could not be discussed without threats and intimidation. That includes the cowardly people trolling him on social media.

He's also right to say that our location, sharing a border with the EU, represented a unique opportunity for businesses – a view initially also shared by Arlene Foster and Jeffrey Donaldson.

The big claim being made by the DUP is that the protocol is rejected by political unionism as a whole - unionists in civic life and business don't seem to count when they aren't singing from the correct hymn sheet.

Maybe it's time the UUP were more forceful about their position - that it won't be scrapped, but it certainly needs fixed. Come on, Doug.