Opinion

Bimpe Archer: I wouldn't call my worst enemy a 'loving mother and daughter'

it was following Arlene Foster's 2016 anointing as First Minister that Mr Poots first lobbed that particular grenade. Picture by Liam McBurney/PA Wire
it was following Arlene Foster's 2016 anointing as First Minister that Mr Poots first lobbed that particular grenade. Picture by Liam McBurney/PA Wire it was following Arlene Foster's 2016 anointing as First Minister that Mr Poots first lobbed that particular grenade. Picture by Liam McBurney/PA Wire

I WOULDN'T call my worst enemy a "loving mother and daughter". Or my best friend for that matter.

In the case of my best friend it is clearly implied and with my worst enemy I'd like to think I had more in my arsenal than the damnation of irrelevant faint praise.

This is where I'm supposed to tell you my mother told me if you can't think of anything nice to say don't say anything at all, but she's from north Belfast so we all know that's not how she rolls. She's more likely to critique how I managed to miss my nemesis and hit the wall.

I'm not saying that Arlene Foster is the worst enemy of Edwin Poots and Paula Bradley, but they haven't been doing much recently to dispel that impression.

As she prepares to stand down today, I am reminded that it was following Ms Foster's 2016 anointing as first minister that Mr Poots first lobbed that particular grenade, telling the assembly: "Her most important job has been, and will remain, that of a wife, mother and daughter."

Asked how she interpreted that, Ms Foster said she is used to "everyday sexism since - women in politics just have to get on with things - but it was a very pointed remark" and one, she noted, for which he did not apologise.

Neither Mr Poots nor his new deputy are in the habit of picking up the phone to their colleague, certainly not since the "brutal" coup which toppled her.

Ms Bradley explained she has been too busy "phoning other people" in the party, but when cajoled this week on live radio into recreating such a conversation did not hesitate to double down on the passive-aggressive slight.

Telling Ms Foster she "has been a great unionist... and I want her to continue with whatever it is she wants to continue doing in life", she nevertheless couldn't resist leading off with the new leader's choice of compliment.

"I know that she is a loving mother and daughter and all of those things and I know all of those things are vitally important to her life."

Here's the thing, if you're not their child, co-parent or social worker it's none of your damn business how loving a mother or daughter any woman is - assume she's doing her best and get to stepping.

Of course it's not really about Ms Foster's brilliance or capacity to love in the domestic sphere, it's the pointed failure to endorse her in the public sphere - her job as first minister and DUP leader.

You'll recognise it from entry-level `bantz': "For a (insert role) you make a good (insert different role)." Tumbleweed drifts across an empty howling plain. And scene.

One can only imagine the craic at the DUP dream team building barbecue during the summer recess ("Just messing, mucker")

It seems unlikely that Ms Foster will be a spectre at that particular feast, by that time no doubt elsewhere, glowing from Ms Bradley's blessing, `continuing with whatever it is she wants to continue doing in life'.

It was Enoch Powell who said in reference to legendary political party splitter Joseph Chamberlain that "all political lives, unless they are cut off in midstream at a happy juncture, end in failure".

Of course it was also Enoch Powell who said: "As I look ahead, I am filled with foreboding. Like the Roman, I seem to see `the River Tiber foaming with much blood'" about the probable consequences of immigration, so we can probably ignore that particular cliche.

Those who know Ms Foster better than I are clear that she will be unbowed by the nature of her departure from the party she split the Ulster Unionists to join in 2004, along with Powell's erstwhile constituency agent Jeffrey Donaldson.

Unfortunately it is unlikely she will be the last woman whose public role will make her private life open to comment - good or ill.