I was at a panel event last year and was asked by representatives from both the SDLP and Sinn Féin why mainstream unionism tended to 'boycott' such events. "Wouldn't they," the Sinn Féin member asked, "benefit from hearing a perspective they wouldn't usually hear. And aren't they missing the opportunity to put their opinion before an audience which wouldn't normally hear them in detail?"
Many of these events tend to be off-the-record; with speakers knowing they won't be filmed or recorded and that members of the audience won't be posting their comments on social media. That makes them useful events and exchanges. It certainly allows for a level of frankness you wouldn't otherwise get; and, more importantly, allows for the building of personal relationships that can be crucial to the addressing of difficult issues in a public domain.
Over the years I've been able to engage in some fascinating discussions and press - and be pressed - on key points of belief and behaviour. And much of what I've heard and learned - and it's surprising how much I've learned - has found its way into my columns and commentary.
I remember writing a piece for the Irish News a few years ago and later being phoned by a Sinn Féin MLA who told me he was impressed that I had clearly been listening to key players within the party.
That's why I'm disappointed that Sinn Féin and the SDLP (along with a number of key figures from within civic nationalism and academia) have decided not to participate in the Centenary Forum to mark the formation of Northern Ireland.
I can understand why they don't want to 'celebrate' the event, but I still find it strange they're missing the chance to have an input into how the centenary is marked, particularly the huge changes in the past 50 years. Ok, they don't want to play 'spot the highlights' of 50 years of unionist governments; but what about the 48 years when there hasn't been a unionist government? What about the 1998 Agreement? What about the Paisley/McGuinness breakthrough?
The story of Northern Ireland is not a story that can be told by just one side. It is a story that touches the lives of every single one of us, particularly those who lived through those three horrible decades from 1968-98. What amounts to a nationalist boycott of the event actually robs the potency of their criticism of unionists for not taking part in 'Shared Island' conversations, or Micheál Martin's recently announced series of Shared Island Dialogues. It makes a mockery of claims to be interested in reconciliation or accommodation. They are, in fact, doing the very thing they criticise unionism for doing: refusing to take part in honest discussion.
My friend Allison Morris made a very good point in the Irish News on October 13: 'There is a real opportunity to reflect on how different sections of the community view the last 100 years and how they feel the partition of the island has impacted on generations of people who live here. So given the official British government plans have been shunned by many of those who would be in a position to give a more rounded perspective leaves a process likely to be sanitised with a glossed-over depiction of Northern Ireland.'
Allison and I have spent many occasions in front of audiences representing all sections and political beliefs across Northern Ireland. We come to almost every issue from diametrically opposed perspectives; yet oddly enough the only time she's really annoyed me is when she described Sherlock Holmes as a 'bit of a tube' (although I've since forgiven her). Anyway, we both know the public actually enjoy honest exchange and banter. Indeed, they come to events precisely because that's what they want to hear. We get the same reactions when we speak at the below-the-radar events I mentioned above.
That's why I regret the unwillingness of both sides - particularly within the political parties - to take part in events where they think they may not 'control' the event or agenda. Let's be honest, if we can't even sit round a table and discuss the creation of Northern Ireland and our joint history, then I despair about what would happen if a border poll ever resulted in us having to discuss the creation of what would be, to all intents and purposes, a newly created united Ireland.
Finally - and just for the record - Sherlock Holmes is not a tube. And that's a view jointly shared by all sides here!
