Opinion

Tom Kelly: Alfie Evans's case demonstrates power of parental love

Tom Kelly

Tom Kelly

Tom Kelly is an Irish News columnist with a background in politics and public relations. He is also a former member of the Policing Board.

Alfie Evans died after a long legal battle
Alfie Evans died after a long legal battle Alfie Evans died after a long legal battle

I don’t know about you but watching the tragic story of toddler Alfie Evans played out in the media has been harrowing.

Some of the online commentary about his parents and the staff at Alder Hey Children’s Hospital has been nothing short of obscene.

The cause of Alfie's condition appears not to be fully known. His medical team were honest about the fact that he was suffering from catastrophic degradation of his brain tissue. Their conclusion and that of several judges was that there was nothing left to do but to let Alfie slip away from this world without any further trauma.

Understandably, his parents believed that perhaps an alternative set of doctors could prolong Alfie’s life. When you look at that child, when he smiles or as he sleeps, who could blame his parents for wanting to do anything possible which would give them one extra day, hour or minute with their son? Not me.

I watched my own family members live in the hope that their child with a so-called fatal foetal abnormality would live just one hour, just one minute. It did not happen but that child was given a name and I sincerely believe knew she was loved. She certainly hasn’t been forgotten.

The parents of Alfie Evans have come under incredible scrutiny and criticism. Indeed, even supporters of their cause have in some way lumbered them with unwarranted baggage.

Much of the criticism from secular commentary has been that the Evans family have been used by the Catholic Church. This criticism has an air of predictability about it. What exactly is wrong with being pro-life? This issue has nothing to do with abortion or the pro-choice. It's to do with parental love.

As I have written before, I was born to a woman who had very little, if any, capacity for parental love. On the plus side she gave me and my siblings life. I was, however, reared by a woman who had incredible capacity for parental love. The kind of love that most other children take for granted or that comes naturally to the majority of parents, where any sacrifice that could be made for children would be made.

The parents of Alfie Evans sought to do no less for their child.

Who would want to be in their position? Who would want to switch off the ventilation that kept Alfie alive? Ask yourself that question.

Doctors, by necessity have to make such decisions and we should be grateful that they do. Or indeed that they can. But it's not all about medical definitions and diagnosis. One doesn’t have to be a Christian or even spiritual to know that there is an indefinable bond between a parent and a child.

I saw it first hand last year when I collapsed and needed emergency hospitalisation. At 54 years of age, wired up to various drips and catheterised, I watched my father look at me from outside my quarantined room. I may as well have been fifteen. In the eyes of most parents, a child will remain just that - whether they be five or 55.

The anguish of Alfie's parents has been all too plain to see. They have lashed out in desperation and in despondency. They wanted to go that extra mile for their child. Slowly the realisation that Alfie’s life was slipping away seemed to dawn on them as they issued their final statement asking for privacy.

These parents didn’t set out to be some sort of celebrity cause. In seeking a voice for Alfie, they have also become victims.

In the same week, the media went into over the top hysteria about the birth of a third child to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. The public were invited to comment as to how they felt about the royal birth. It's hard to imagine a starker contrast between the joy of William and Kate and the heartbreaking drama of Tom Evans and his partner, Kate James.

Alfie Evans has only been on this earth for a short time but his impact has been more than some people who have lived a hundred years.

He has been inspiring as a fighter to the end. He has brought out the best in his parents, his medical team and in the general public. His is a life to be celebrated, not debated.